A care package for me....the recipient of a random act of kindness

I know many of you are like me and LOVE shopping at Target.  I don't know if any of you avoid it like I do though too.  Everytime I step foot into that store I spend WAY more than I want/need to on random stuff that we just can't live without.  Today I went in with only one thing on my list:  boy socks from the $1 bins.  Of course they only had girly socks, but Jonner found a Captain Hook hand for a buck and I figured "why not."  We wandered into the boy section of clothes because Jman has been growing and I needed to find.....whatever I could find for cheap.  Because the child needs nothing, but c'mon it's Target!  So after a Superman tee on clearance and an outfit on sale I let him look at toys with the knowledge that he has $2 to spend on a toy or save and have more next week.  Again....c'mon it's Target!  Like a 4yr old with a 5yr old complex is going to leave Target without a toy!  After going up and down and down and up the aisles and not finding anything for $2.00 I told him it was time to leave.  I started leaving and as we're getting closer to the checkouts he pipes up "but I want a hot rod" code for MatchBox.  Me wearing the BIG SUCKER stamp across my forhead turns the cart around to get his hot rod.  I think I heard Angels sing when he finally picked his '67 Pontiac GTO.  We could leave before I spent anymore money!  Just as we're coming out of the hot rod aisle I see this cute little red headed girl (the daughter of one of my dearest and closest friends).  I wanted to be the creepy lady that went up and offered her candy!  lol!  But Jonner was so excited to see her and her sisters that he ruined my creepy moment!  Ahhhhh sweet bliss of having a conversation with another adult as we were "those parents" letting our children run around the toys without immediate supervision.  C'mon really, it's only THE Target that a child preditor was waiting inside the restroom for a child to go into alone.  But there were 4 of them and when we didn't see them, we heard the heard of elephants laughing & running.  I know, I know, I don't need a lecture about child safety and it only takes a second.  Anyhoo, as we're standing there and all 4 children are not only within view but within 15 feet two hoity-toity snobs walk by us with a comment about no one watching those kids.  Ugh....bitches, if you want to make a point just make it.  Don't make snide comments in hopes that someone hears you being a snob.  Own it lady, it's not like I know you or will remember you the next time my child is running around Target! 

Not that these ladies made that big of an impact.  The kids were having fun, I had a moment like Rex in Toy Story 3 "He held me, he actually held me!" with having an adult conversation "I'm talking to an adult, I'm actually talking to an adult!"  Little things make big impacts.  Like the lady who heard me talking to Jonner in the toiletries about what we should put in daddy's next care package. 

Jonner was crying because he didn't get to give his best girl a hug goodbye after we went opposite directions at the store and in a distraction I was asking him what he thought daddy would like.  I noticed a lady walk by and stop, look at what I was looking at and kept going.  We picked a few things up, J saw his best girl and gave her a hug and we walked to the checkouts.  While standing in the checkout this same lady came up to me and asked "where is your husband", when I told her he's deployed she handed me a $10 bill.  She said she knew it wasn't much but that she knew "families need to be taken care of too".  How awesome is that!?  A randon act of kindness from a complete stranger, there are no words.  Just my big grateful heart and the knowledge that even though there are some snide people out there, there are also wonderful caring people who will go out of their way to make your day!  Thank you.

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So speaking of care packages.  I decided to send a monthly themed package to Eric.  Now that he's received his first one I'll post the picture.  Its theme was "We're Blue Without You" everything was either blue or packaged in blue.  It was part Father's Day and part just because we miss him.  He didn't get the theme....a bit of a disappointment for me since I really worked at making it the color blue.  *eye's rolling* geesh, men! 

So now that he know's he's getting themed packages I hope he "gets" the ones I send in the coming months!  The softball is for my 2 guys to mail back and forth and play catch with.  They're going to each write/draw a message to the other and mail again.  This ball is going to travel a lot of miles!  The M&M's melted in the extreme desert heat, but surprisingly the Gatorade didn't explode!  Yay!  I'm sure custom's appreciates it more than me or Eric! 

Here Jonner is modeling the t-shirt he made for daddy for Father's Day.  It says World's Best Dad (Jonner's handprints) Hands Down.  J also finger painted his name and finger prints and made a fingerprint drawing of Kye for daddy.  My little love the artist, always remembering his brother!  This was a lot of fun to put together and I'm really looking forward to looking outside the box to make his next care package super special. 

P is for....

The Pulling up of my big girl Panties, Putting the Pity Party behind me....and making Popsicles with my favorite little man. 

As I sit here typing I'm reflecting on what I wrote the other day.  I was at a low and I needed an avenue to vent.  Releasing the frustration that had built up in me felt so good.  That evening I let Jonner sleep in my bed and we both slept really well and started a new day with a smile, laughter, songs & tickles....a perfect way to start the day with a new perspective.  A moment ago I watched him eat his afternoon snack of applesauce.  He licked it out of the bowl and when he finished he ran back out to the patio to play in the bin of soapy water I'd given him.  All of his SuperHero's are going for a swim today and rescuing each other from a soapy storm of bubbles.  He's in his little boy element and I'm looking beyond the mess and clutter to see a little boy having fun making a mess.  Thank goodness his mess is on the patio!  I'm taking the time to forget what will be waiting for me tomorrow and having fun with right now. 

Yesterday Jonner and I made our 1st batch of homemade popsicles.  I have great memories of homemade popsicles when I was a kid and I want to share and create new memories with Jonner. 

We bought our plastic mold, I found some healthy recipe's (if I'm going to make them I want them to be good for us too!) and our adventure began!

Fresh squeezed lime juice, lime zest, banana's and strawberries mixed with Greek yogurt, frozen orange juice concentrate (thawed) and a touch of honey to sweeten the deal!  I blended/puree'd everything until I had a liquid, poured into the molds and froze for a few hours. 

I think I was more excited to have our frozen dessert than Jonner after our dinner last night.  We sat on the patio and enjoyed our tart, frozen pops before heading to church for VBS. 

I say tart, but not quite pucker up tart, the tang of the yogurt and the touch of honey really made for a great popsicle!  I see many more popsicle variations in our future!  And my two favorite things about them:  we made them together and they're healthy!  I even let him have one for breakfast this morning :)  And he didn't even know he was getting a "good for you" treat!

Ah...the life of a busy little boy who know's his mama is distracted.  I hear someone sneaking into the frog habitat! 

"F" is for Fun, Fall, Friday, FOOTBALL

I started writing this blog nearly a month ago 11.11.11 and for some reason I was pulled from the computer and my words were forgotten about until I happened about them tonight.  But since I started it why not finish.  Right?

Today was an "F" day.  Full of fun;  we were lucky enough to spend this beautiful fall Friday with the St. Louis Rams football team during one of their practices. 

The Rams invited veterans out to watch one of their practices and to thank the vets for their service.  I cannot put into words how excited I was when Eric told me we were one of the selected families.  Eric had to wear his BDU's but I made sure Jonner and I were clothed in our Rams gear and Eric went out to purchase items for the players to sign during the meet and greet. 

It was so much fun to shake hands and chat with the players.  They're just normal people like you and me.  They get worn out from a hard workout, they get hungry, they laugh and tell jokes....ordinary people - who make a ton of money! 

I think the biggest highlight was for Jonner (on a few occassions).  He played football with Rampage the mascott and had several pictures taken with him.  And after the practice Brandon Lloyd made a bee-line for Jonner and gave him his practice glove.  He made the day of one little boy! 

Here are a few pictures of our day.

Warm Up

#55 shaking hands

My two favorite guys

Jman with Rampage

Playing football with Rampage...notice the ball bouncing off of his head!

Playing ball with Rampage

Is this not the cutest little boy EVER!

As Jonner said "meeting a real hero" WWII Vet

Scrimage

Daddy playing ball with his boy

High 5's!

#8 Quarterback Sam Bradford signing J's helmet

Today:  I now realize why I never finished this blog.  I hadn't uploaded my pictures, but my thoughts were all over the place.  And now that it's weeks later I don't know what direction my thoughts were going in...and I don't know how to fix it now.  So I appologize for the beebopping around.  It was a great day and gave us so many wonderful memories.  Jonner still talks about Brandon Lloyd giving him his glove and he loves to show off his signed football & helmet.  We've put them away to keep nice and hope to have properly (safely) display his treasures in his room.  I've gone from the woman who doesn't like/watch football to a Rams fan! 

Little man with his treasures.  Now THAT is a real smile!

Future NFLer

Fall Fun

On a typical weekend we all curl up on the couch and eventually we all fall asleep and when we wake up we tease each other about falling asleep during our family movie/cuddle time.  Today I'm letting my guys curl up with some Scooby-Doo and I'm playing catch up.  My two favorite guys are holding to tradition and snoozing away! 

My poor little guy is sporting a rash on his face & neck.  I took him to the Dr. yesterday and I was told that a child with frequent respitory issues it's common to have a "hystamine" attack and have irratation from things they come in contact with.  The only thing out of our norm is we went to the pumpkin patch and he was lovin' on and feeding the cows. 

It's a little on the itchy side, but for the most part it's not giving him to much grief and he's leaving it alone.  Hopefully another day or two of Zyrtec & 1% Cortizone will clear him up.  Thankfully he's not contagious!  And while we were at the Dr. I went ahead and started getting him caught up on some of his vaccines while we were there AND healthy.  Poor guy got 3 shots in the thigh and we go back next month for his 4yr old well check up and he'll get 3 more. 

The temps really dropped this week and I broke down and turned the heat on for a few days.  I love the cooler temps fall brings but I'm not a big fan of the damp, drizzle that we had for a few days this week.  Monday Jonner and I joined our MOPS group for a trip to the pumpkin patch.  As always we had a great time seeing the animals, playing with friends in the farm play center and riding the tractor to pick out the perfect pumpkin.  After trompsing through the pumpkin patch and passing on several pumkins, Jonner found a winner to bring home!

The best part of going to the pumpkin patch is being with friends.  Jonner and his best girl Ellie have been the best of friends (it's a love/hate, brother/sister relationship) since they were little bitty's.  And Jonas on the right is a new friend Jonner met at the pumpkin patch and they became fast friends. 

These two are the best of the patch!

Jonner and I made another fun craft this week.  We raided the plastic recycle bin and found two milk jugs that we could transform into spooky ghosts.  We started out putting a layer of glow in the dark paint over the jug and then added our facial features with black paint.  We should have put several coats of glow in the dark on the jug because one just didn't do much!  But we had fun and our ghosts turned out fabulous!

These were made to put a light in to illuminate from the inside, but Jonner and one of his little playmates made a game of Boo Chase out of them.  They each held a jug by it's handle and chased each other around the yard yelling "boooooo" and going up on the neighbors "haunted" porch.  I love seeing how little imaginative minds work and I'm so happy they were able to make something recycled into something fun! 

This morning was a Mommy Morning.  Every year my good friend and I make a point to get out on a weekend, kid-free.  We've been to the Belleville Historical Christmas Tour and we oh'd and ah'd over the wonderful Christmas decor the beautiful, historical homes of Belleville area.  The last couple of years we've gone to the local Craft Fair at the Fairgrounds.  Last year the building was packed with vendors and so many crafts to choose from and inspire to recreate.  This cute owl was my big find last year.  I just love him and can keep him up the entire fall season. 

This year was a little bit of a disappointment.  There were not near as many vendors as last year, but we still had a good time and saw and bought some cute crafts. 

HoHoHo my Santa Snowman will be a great addition to my Christmas Kitchen.

Sara & Saul Pilgrim are a cute little couple that I scored an awesome deal on for the pair (they were mis-marked) and since I have very little Thanksgiving decor I thought it'd be fun to get something.  Especially since I'm hosting Thanksgiving this year!

These days out are few and far between and very much enjoyed by both of us.  Thanks to some hubby's that help with schedules to make it happen.  I couldn't ask for more! 

Gone Fishin'

When I think back to my childhood one of the things that stands out is fishing.  I loved fishing as a child and have so many fond memories of fishing with different family members.  I found a photo of the first fish I ever caught.  Me in all my fishy glory!  When I pulled the picture out of the album my mom made for me 20 some years ago she wrote on the back "Grandma Malone took Tiffani fishing for the first time.  Caught a bass - summer 1978".  I have so many wonderful memories of the times I spent with my Grandma and one of my favorites is of one of our many fishing adventures. 

I have no idea how old I was but I do remembering thinking I was an experienced fisher-woman and didn't need to listen to what grandma had to say.  We went to one of our regular fishing spots in Sabula for an afternoon.  We packed a few sandwiches and a big jug of kool-aid and off we went with our fishing gear.  I remembered seeing people using a Y shaped branch stuck into the ground to hold their fishing pole.  I decided I should do that too while I wondered around and drank kool-aid from the jug.  My grandma kept getting after me to pay attention to my poll and I continued to ignore her.  A moment later I had a bite on my poll and away my poll disappeared into the murky Sabula lake.  Definately "the one that got away..."  poll and all!  I think I saw steam coming out of my grandma's ears at that moment, she was so upset with me for not listening and letting the fish get away with her fishing poll.  Later that afternoon she found my Uncle John and he walked into the water and found the lost fishing poll about 20ft. out from the shore.  The fish had gotten away but luckily the poll was retrieved and my Grandma had a story to tell and laugh about for the remainder of her life. 

I remember going out on the Mississippi with my Grandma & Grandpa Lutz in their little fishing boat and going through the flood gates in Clinton and thinking I was hot stuff going through the big steel gates and out into the main channel...I don't even know if we were fishing or just out for a ride on the river! 

I have to say though that my favorite fishing memory happened just a few weeks ago when Eric and I took Jonner fishing for the 1st time.  We had such a wonderful day as a family at one of the little lakes on Scott AFB.  We were only out there for a little more than an hour, but it was an hour full of quality, fun & love.  We started out going to Walmart to get our bait and as Jonner was carrying it to the checkout he decided to give it a good shake and unfortunately the lid wasn't on the tub tight and dirt and worms went flying through Walmart.... oops!  In the little amount of time we were fishing the three of us caught 4 fish!   

Look at my little fisher of men with his first fish - a bluegill, summer 2011

It took awhile but he eventually decided to hold one of the fish we caught and he even threw it back into the lake.  Catch & release!

I think the highlight of Jonner's day was playing with the worms.  He's such a boy!

We let Jonner try to cast on his own and he had a blob of seaweed stuck to his hook and it kept slapping him on the back of his shirt and he was getting frustrated.  Eric and I couldn't help but laugh and Eric started to video tape him and just in the knick of time.  Eric caught him as he cast his entire poll into the lake and had a little bit of a fit.  Having been in a similar possition myself I was able to swoop in and save the poll and put a smile back on my little man's face. 

A Little Bit of This and A Little Bit of That

A Day Late & A Dollar Short...  I guess it's Weigh in Wednesday on a Thursday!  But I actually did weigh in yesterday, I just didn't blog about it.  Anyhoo, I've maintained my weight for the last 2 weeks.  Yay me with all the travelling and junk I've eaten.  I have no goals other than to continue to maintain until our life can slow down and we're not on the road as much.  Since E was paid today I'm no longer a dollar short (at least for a few days!).

Life on the road....  We've been making 4 day weekend trips up to Iowa/North Western Illinois to spend time with E's mom Jeanette.  She has Acute Myloid Luekemia.  U of Iowa Hospitals sent her home a few weeks ago stating there was nothing else to be done and gave her a few weeks.  She's spent the last week and a half home and surrounded by loved ones but is now in the Clinton hospital with pnemonia and fever (through the grapevine) we've heard she doesn't think she'll be back home.  We haven't actually talked to her since we want to give her time to rest but we are speaking ot family members daily on her condition.  We'll be driving up there tomorrow for the weekend.  E is having a hard time with it and not sleeping well, I have my tearful moments thinking about all the time I've spent with her and all the great recipes she's shared wiht me over the years.  J doesn't have a clue other than grandma is in the hospital and sick.  He continues to pray that she feels better and we try to re-direct that she's comfortable and with loved ones.  I'm so sad that he's too young to remember her.  I know she loves him so much and when he's being his goofy self she's said to him "your dutch".  To this day I have no idea what that means but it really warms my heart because it's something my grandma Malone used to say to me as a kid.  As an adult she loved to tease me about how I would pout and say "I am Not!"  I'm glad his grandma could tie me to my grandma. 

Last weekend was a good weekend with her.  The entire family was together in their house for a wonderful steak & shrimp dinner with loaded sides.  A Christmas in August with the best gift of being together as a family.  E's sister J arranged to have someone come in and take family photos.  Instead of all of us going into the formal living room (you know the one that no one is allowed in) where everyone would have fit we decided to pile into the den....the place where we always gathered as a family.  It was a really good day with family, fun, laughter & a few rowdy games of dice....family the way it's intended! 

Here are some of the pictures:  Grandma & Grandpa with the Grands

G & G with the kids & spouses

The entire gang

The Smith's with The Smith's

With all of this travelling Jonner hasn't been doing too well.  A few weeks ago he woke up vomiting and later that day it turned to diahrea.  Poor kid was sick almost every day.  Originally we thought he had a bug but after a trip to the doctor we were figured out it's gastrotitis.  Nothing contagious and not caused by all the travelling.  Last night was our 1st barf free night in 10 days and today was diahrea free!  Yay!!!  The poor kid was put on a beige diet, but hey if it works I'll spoon feed him applesauce & toast for weeks until his irritated intestines are back to normal. 

Lately we've had several people asking us about the adoption.  Sadly we really don't have anything to share, we're still in waiting.

  Continued prayers are appreciated. 

Quick update - Adoption & MomS

On the adoption front.  Our facebook networking paid off a little bit.  Eric had a co-worker approach him a few weeks ago asking if we were still trying to adopt.  When he told her we were she said she knew of a young lady attending college that recently found out that she was pregnant and was considering having an abortion.  Eric called me and that same day I made a flier for the co-worker to give this young lady.  After hearing about this young lady I started praying for her every day and I didn't let my hopes get up, but I wanted God to know I thought of her and wanted her to make the right decision for her whether it meant abortion, adoption or parenting the child herself.  Yesterday we found out that she had called Eric's co-worker last week and decided to keep and parent her child.  Sadly we found out yesterday that she miscarried her baby.  My heart is very heavy for her.  I know she had a big decision to make and she didn't make a hasty decision and now her baby is gone.  Please say a prayer for this young lady that she may have peace with this loss. 

We continue to be hopeful and know that God has our child picked out and it's just a matter of time, trust & patience.  The later is the most difficult, we're ready for our new little bundle of joy!

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We'll be making another quick trip up to Iowa City this weekend to see Jeanette.  After a month in the hospital and a round of chemo she was released to go home.  She was only able to spend a week there as blood results came back that the chemo hadn't worked like hoped and she still had Acute Myloid Luekemia.  Last week she returned to University of Iowa Hospital as an out-patient (Hope Lodge) for another month and round of chemo.  She had a set back over the weekend and spiked a fever putting her back into the hospital as a patient and stopping the chemo.  A bacteria was found in one of the ports for the chemo and she was put on antibiotics.  During this time her blood/oxygen level dropped and she had to have her oxygen levels bumped up.  Her blood/oxygen levels have returned to somewhat normal and she's back to just a tube in her nose instead of the mask.  The bacteria is clearing up and next week they will start giving her a stronger dose of chemo.  She's sounded very tired and worn out the times we've talked and Gerry said he's never seen her so sick.  I'm praying Jonner get's to see her, but not getting my hopes up.  I worry about her low to non-existent immunity and whatever little germs he might be carrying around with him.  Please say a prayer for MomS to recover and be cancer free and for the rest of the family traveling to be with her. 

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On a happy note Eric starts 3 wks of vacation on Monday.  He's already said the phone is getting turned off.....it's on it's last leg, so that's not to hard to do anymore!  We really haven't got much planned other than a lot of fun & family time together.  I'm hoping the temps stay low and we can take Jonner fishing and we've talked about a trip to Memphis & Branson but we'll see.  It'll be nice having daddy home and sleeping in! 

Nature's Bounty

Sunday afternoon I was laying on the couch watching a race with Eric and trying to avoid having to make supper.  I didn't plan ahead and the only thing in the house that didn't need to be thawed was tuna helper.  I was not excited about having or making tuna helper so I was hoping Eric would get up and make himself a bowl of cereal and I could say "Oh, great idea!  Cereal for supper!"  He didn't get up and get a bowl of cereal....little did I know we didn't have cereal in the house either!

Anyway, I did eventually get up and I walked out back with the dogs and decided to check on my garden.  Calling it a garden this year is a stretch!  We had such a cold & wet planting season everything got in late and then it turned hotter than hot and scortched everything!  But to my surprise this hot, steamy Sunday afternoon this is what I found!

I picked my lone pepper and the two okra's and beautiful roma tomato's and the green one fell off the vine and I decided to show it some mercy and bring it in with my bounty rather than leave it for the squirels.  This little box made me so happy!  I nearly skipped into the house to show it off to Eric and Jonner, they were equally excited with my basket of veggies fresh from the garden!  I enjoy gardening, but this is what I LOVE about it.  Having my own fresh/organic vegetables to feed and nurish my family.

I quickly decided we were having BLT's for supper that evening....the only problem what we were out of the B.  I grabbled the keys, gave my guys a kiss and said I'll be back in a jiffy and off I was on my way to Walmart up the street.  I didn't even realize until I was trying to walk from the van into the store that I was still wearing my nasty, dirt crusted gardening flip-flops that flipped and flopped off my feet more than they stayed on!  But it was a Sunday afternoon and all the crazies were out at Walmart - I fit right in!  I grabbed a pound of turkey bacon and a package of deli turkey.  Those of you who know me well know I won't eat a tomato to save my life...ironic huh?!  And I was home in no time flat and ready to make supper.   Eric had his traditional BLT and I had my traditional BLTurkey, Jonner enjoyed toast and bacon.  Best of all we ended up having a nice easy sit down meal as a family - that's better than cereal any day....even if I do have to toast some bread and cook up some bacon! 

Eric has back to back ballgames tonight and he requested BLT's for a light supper before his games.  I'm happy to oblige.  It's an easy meal we all enjoy.  Just another perk of summer:  family, ballgames & BLT's, life is good! 


Here are a few pictures of our recent trip into STL to watch the Cardinals play.  A big thanks to the March of Dimes for free tickets.   

Cardinals vs. Houston Astros - Cards lost, but we still enjoyed ourselves despite the 100 degree tempature at 7:15 in the evening.  Thankfully we were so high up in the nose bleed seats that we had a slight breeze as the sun set behind us.  Up that high we had a fabulous view of the entire stadium, the field and one of our favorite sights of the midwest.  The Gateway Arch at sunset. 

At the end of my rope

This week has been a short one for us here at home, but it's been a crazy one.  I don't know if it's because of the quick trip up to Iowa and getting out of our routine or just what, but Jonner has been out of sorts.  And by out of sorts I mean extremely naughty and mouthy.  I've reached the end of my rope and I'm praying we can get back on track this weekend. 

I can't complain about his sleeping habits because the last few weeks he's been sleeping like a champ.  No potty accidents, staying in his bed and sleeping until 7am.  We stopped letting him fall asleep to his tv being on and I think it's made a huge difference and helped him sleep better.  But boy oh boy does he give me a run for my money during the day.  And then once daddy is home he's back to being a good little boy. 

Why does he think it's ok to be mean and hateful towards me but not towards daddy?  Let me give you a run down of this weeks naughty behavior.  A few days ago he played in the toilet with a washcloth.  Toilet water was everywhere, again today playing in the toilet.  I've already removed everything from the bathroom I could possible imagine...even the shower curtain is gone.  My next resort is just locking him out of the bathroom and making him come tell me when he has to go potty so I can unlock and supervise him.  He is constantly telling me "no", hitting, kicking.  Today in the library he was climbing on the magnetic thing that beeps at the door and I told him to get off that it wasn't something to climb on.  I started to re-direct him to the children's library and he yelled "no, knock it off mommy" and hit & bit me then said "mommy you're stupid".  I took him by the hand, we immediately returned the movie we were checking out and walked out the door.  He cried the whole way and frankly I didn't really care.  Once buckled in the car I asked him if he knew why we left and he just cried and yelled at me that he wanted to go to the library.  He proudly told daddy of his bad behavior as soon as we met with him for lunch and daddy made him appoligize and had a talking to him. 

I know that when he's mis-behaving I've caught myself telling him to "knock it off" so I know where he get's that from, but calling people stupid has me stumped.  I need to figure out some sort of behavior strategy for him.  I'm thinking his a monetarily driven kid so it's going to be something with coins.  He has no idea what money is, he just likes to collect it in his piggy bank.  So I'm going to find a jar and start taking coins away everytime he says a "bad" word.  I wish I could figure something out that would reward a good/alternate bahavior but right now I'm so agitated with him that I'm at a loss.  *Ideas/suggestions are welcome.* 

I know I've made and will continue to make mistakes with him, at the end I just want to be a good mom and raise a confident, caring & respetful child.  The funny thing is he know's when he's misbehaving and we have to leave a situation because of his behavior.  He will cry "I want to behave" because he doesn't want to miss out on the fun things.  I just can't understand why he continues to do what he does when he know's he's in the wrong. 

I love the little booger, he's made me laugh, he's made me cry, he's made me proud and today he's leading me to pulling my hair out. 

A Weekend.... all about a girl

When an opportunity presents itself, what do you do?  Run with it and see where it takes you or let it pass and wonder what may have been.  Usually I let them pass and wonder what may have been.  Until last week...

I was missing my mom & sisters and some core women in my life.  I realized last week that my husband was going to be in class all weekend and we'd see very little of him and it dawned on me that Jonner and I didn't need to stay cooped up in this Southern Illinois heat while daddy was in class.  I decided to run 300 miles with this opportunity and head up to Iowa and be with family. 

With the help of my sisters and dad we were able to keep my visit a secret from my mom.  She saw my silver van pull into the driveway and assumed it was my sister Bobbi in her silver van.  My dad met us at the door and opened it for us just as he would have for my sister and her kids.  It took a moment for it to register with my mom who had just walked into her livingroom.  That look was priceless!  It really felt great to give her such a nice surprise. 

Friday evening was full of food and family.  I was able to see my older sister and her family and my younger sister Kristi along with her family.  I even kept her youngest son (Liam is 4) for a sleepover with Jonner at Grandma & Grandpa's.  After all....the weekend wasn't entirely about me!  Those two little boys played so well and just had a blast.  I hate being so far away, I have great memories of playing with my cousins and I want the same for Jonner.  Saturday morning my parents keep the boys, invited Levi (3) up and Kristi and I went coupon shopping.  I seldom get to spend time with Kristi and having that one on one time together really meant a lot to me.  Saturday evening we spent in Thomson visiting the Smith side of the family.  We saw KaCee Cierra and Jonner cried the rest of the evening for her.  We really miss that girl. 

Sunday was a fun filled day for me.  I started the day off up at my grandma L.'s and came home with a ton of jars to can in....if only my garden was producing.  But we'll save that story for another day.  I had lunch with my sister Bobbi Ann.  She treated me to the brunch buffet at Yen Ching.  It's been forever since I've been there and honestly it wasn't as good as I remember.  But it was still great to see Bertrude and chat with her.  That afternoon I saw my "little" brother Bobby.  The terrible thing about a long relationship ending is loosing the family you've come to love.  When my high school sweetheart and I split I was heartbroke about not seeing his little brother and his grandma.  Over the years I've gotten back in touch with his little brother and have adopted him as my own little brother.  So the "little" brother I've know since he was 5yrs old is now a grown man that towers just a bit over me.  We chat often and I'm so glad to have my little brother back in my life.  Sunday evening was the icing on the cake.  My best friend was also in town all the way from Alaska.  Tricia is my dearest and oldest friendship dating back to college.  We were in each other's weddings and when we're together we mesh and no topic is off limits.  It was so refreshing to see her and be able to pig out on some Manny's pizza and not be concerned if I ate too much.  We visited late into the night and I felt such a peace come over me.  I ran with an opportunity and in doing so I was able to fill my need of being with some of the people I miss & love most.  My weekend was filled with love and laughter and I realized that for the first time in a long time that I was living in the moment and not trying to capture it on film. 

I'll hold these wonderful moments of time in my heart forever.  And I'll try to remember it's ok to run with an opportunity every now and again.  Afterall you never know what will come of them!

**I can't give my parents enough thanks for all of their help with Jonner over the weekend.  He spent more time with them than with me.  I know they were happy to help and trilled to have that time with him but by Sunday evening my little man was missing his mommy and to be honest...mommy was missing her little man.

A quick trip "home"

As a kid growing up in Iowa was nothing special.  Field of corn, field of soybeans, oh look there's a cow!  I desperately wanted to live in a different state.  Let's face it saying "I'm from Iowa" isn't all that fashionable!  Last weekend my family made a quick trip to Iowa City and back in about 36hrs.  Even though we've been to Iowa too many times to count from our current home in southern Illinois this time we took a differnt route into the heartland of my home state.  As soon as I saw that Welcome to Iowa sign I took a deep breath and a calm came over me.  Iowa is a beautiful state.  I've done a lot of travelling by car and seen and lived in tranquil, beautiful parts of the US but Iowa is my home.  No where else will you find rolling hills of green (too many shades of green to count) and the green is splashed with white from Queen Anne's Lace and purple Clover & Coneflowers and it all meets with a clear blue sky.  It's beautiful and peaceful and it's HOME.  Iowa may not be fashionable but my roots run deep in Iowa and now as an adult I'm proud to say "I'm from Iowa".

Like I said our trip was quick.  Eric needed to check in on his stepmom who is being treated with chemo for her luekemia at U of I Hospital in Iowa City.  Many moons ago I attened the University of Iowa - I left in 1996 and boy has that place changed!  Through the change my old crusty apartment building still stands crustier than ever!  It's surrounded by sparkling new townhouse apartments and it sticks out like a sore thumb!  It's been a long time but I didn't expect that much change, I nearly got lost on 5th Street in Coralville!  My favorite fast food restaurant Dill Burgers was gone and something new stood in it's place.  It was nice driving up the hill and pointing out to Eric Carver Hawkeye arena and explaning that it's set into the ground and going by Kinnick Stadium.  Seeing his eyes bulge at the size of the stadium and saying we need to get tickets to "come back for a football game" really warmed my heart.  He know's I bleed Hawkeye black and gold.  I sure do love that man!

A quick update on Jeanette since she's the reason we drove into Iowa's heartland.  She's doing alright.  She was better Saturday than she was Sunday.  It was sad to see her face when we all left Saturday evening.  I could see the disappointment of knowing she was going to spend the rest of the evening alone.  I think all the visiting from Saturday wore her out and Sunday she looked tired and really had a cough to her.  They had to give her a medicine to get rid of extra fluids (it made her pee often) and had to had blood drawn so they could check the oxygen level in her blood and as we left Sunday she was going down to Xray for a chest xray.  I wanted to let her rest yesterday so I'll be calling today to see how she's feeling and the results of the xray and blood/oxygen test. 

Our trip back to southern Illinois was uneventful with the exception of bringing back our 13 yr old niece.  Jonner's in hog heaven with the extra attention and she's a beautiful, sweet girl.  I took her to the library yesterday and she signed up for the reading program on base and started reading Eclipse...it's no wonder I love that girl!  I woke up this morning to her puking :(  She's resting and Jonner walks up to her side and says "Mommy, Cierra don't feel good, she needs to feel all better so she can play with me".  So I'm taking my cue that little man needs some attention and it's time for me to wrap this up and get on the floor to play with him.