Today I'm using this blog as a "self help" forum for me. I am so troubled and I'm releasing it all to God and looking for strength and guidance.....
We've been matched with a birthmom. Great news I know, I was giddy with excitement when I heard the news. We've had time to marinade on the thoughts of it and even though I'm excited....there always has to be a but. And boy do we have a BIG but. The birthmom is in need of some financial assistance. It's not much (less than $500 a month) but it exceeds the "extra" amount we have each month. I just don't know what to do. We're supposed to meet this mom today. Do we stop our tithing, do we sell even more of our stuff....but eventually we'd run out of things to sell. I know I should just trust that God will provide for us, but what if this baby isn't the one that we're supposed to have. Am I missing the signals, is this a test to just trust. I don't know and I'm not one to jump blind into something. But that's what adoption is. I'm finding peace in this scary time but frankly I was a blubbering ballbaby mess this morning. And I feel on the verge of more tears.
It doesn't help that Eric deploys in 3 weeks, that alone is enough stress for this mama.
Please pray for guidance and peace for us thru this adoption process or having to make the decission that it's not a right fit. Pray for us as we prepare for deployment.
