This has been a crazy week with a lot of travelling, hotel's, hospital & restaurants. I'm estatic I lost 1/2 a pound. I didn't do very well planning snacks & meals and I didn't journal a thing I ate. And my exercise was non existant unless you count an hour and a half of playtime in a hotel pool with a 3yr old hanging off of me. Ok...that WAS a workout, and a lot of walking the cooridors of U of I Hospital. The coming weeks will be full of more of the same, so if nothing else I've learned what not to do!
My main goal for this week is to be accountable for what I eat, and I know the best way for me to do that is by journalling, making sure I have healthy food choices available in the house and healthy options while we're on the road and away from home.
I'm keeping it short today....above mentioned 3yr old is sitting on my lap asking to be held. I know that this phase of wanting to be with mom will come to an end before I'm ready for it to be over so I'm going to soak it up now while I can.
Wednesday, August 17, 2011
Friday, August 12, 2011
Quick update - Adoption & MomS
On the adoption front. Our facebook networking paid off a little bit. Eric had a co-worker approach him a few weeks ago asking if we were still trying to adopt. When he told her we were she said she knew of a young lady attending college that recently found out that she was pregnant and was considering having an abortion. Eric called me and that same day I made a flier for the co-worker to give this young lady. After hearing about this young lady I started praying for her every day and I didn't let my hopes get up, but I wanted God to know I thought of her and wanted her to make the right decision for her whether it meant abortion, adoption or parenting the child herself. Yesterday we found out that she had called Eric's co-worker last week and decided to keep and parent her child. Sadly we found out yesterday that she miscarried her baby. My heart is very heavy for her. I know she had a big decision to make and she didn't make a hasty decision and now her baby is gone. Please say a prayer for this young lady that she may have peace with this loss.
We continue to be hopeful and know that God has our child picked out and it's just a matter of time, trust & patience. The later is the most difficult, we're ready for our new little bundle of joy!
*********
We'll be making another quick trip up to Iowa City this weekend to see Jeanette. After a month in the hospital and a round of chemo she was released to go home. She was only able to spend a week there as blood results came back that the chemo hadn't worked like hoped and she still had Acute Myloid Luekemia. Last week she returned to University of Iowa Hospital as an out-patient (Hope Lodge) for another month and round of chemo. She had a set back over the weekend and spiked a fever putting her back into the hospital as a patient and stopping the chemo. A bacteria was found in one of the ports for the chemo and she was put on antibiotics. During this time her blood/oxygen level dropped and she had to have her oxygen levels bumped up. Her blood/oxygen levels have returned to somewhat normal and she's back to just a tube in her nose instead of the mask. The bacteria is clearing up and next week they will start giving her a stronger dose of chemo. She's sounded very tired and worn out the times we've talked and Gerry said he's never seen her so sick. I'm praying Jonner get's to see her, but not getting my hopes up. I worry about her low to non-existent immunity and whatever little germs he might be carrying around with him. Please say a prayer for MomS to recover and be cancer free and for the rest of the family traveling to be with her.
*********
On a happy note Eric starts 3 wks of vacation on Monday. He's already said the phone is getting turned off.....it's on it's last leg, so that's not to hard to do anymore! We really haven't got much planned other than a lot of fun & family time together. I'm hoping the temps stay low and we can take Jonner fishing and we've talked about a trip to Memphis & Branson but we'll see. It'll be nice having daddy home and sleeping in!
We continue to be hopeful and know that God has our child picked out and it's just a matter of time, trust & patience. The later is the most difficult, we're ready for our new little bundle of joy!
*********
We'll be making another quick trip up to Iowa City this weekend to see Jeanette. After a month in the hospital and a round of chemo she was released to go home. She was only able to spend a week there as blood results came back that the chemo hadn't worked like hoped and she still had Acute Myloid Luekemia. Last week she returned to University of Iowa Hospital as an out-patient (Hope Lodge) for another month and round of chemo. She had a set back over the weekend and spiked a fever putting her back into the hospital as a patient and stopping the chemo. A bacteria was found in one of the ports for the chemo and she was put on antibiotics. During this time her blood/oxygen level dropped and she had to have her oxygen levels bumped up. Her blood/oxygen levels have returned to somewhat normal and she's back to just a tube in her nose instead of the mask. The bacteria is clearing up and next week they will start giving her a stronger dose of chemo. She's sounded very tired and worn out the times we've talked and Gerry said he's never seen her so sick. I'm praying Jonner get's to see her, but not getting my hopes up. I worry about her low to non-existent immunity and whatever little germs he might be carrying around with him. Please say a prayer for MomS to recover and be cancer free and for the rest of the family traveling to be with her.
*********
On a happy note Eric starts 3 wks of vacation on Monday. He's already said the phone is getting turned off.....it's on it's last leg, so that's not to hard to do anymore! We really haven't got much planned other than a lot of fun & family time together. I'm hoping the temps stay low and we can take Jonner fishing and we've talked about a trip to Memphis & Branson but we'll see. It'll be nice having daddy home and sleeping in!
Wednesday, August 10, 2011
Weigh in Wednesday - wk 4
Can you believe it's Wednesday again? I'm happy to say I've had a really good week. I feel good and I've been sleeping really well. It's been a long time since I can honestly say I've had a good nights sleep and let me tell you being a mom sleep is NOT over rated! A big thank you to Jonner for finally sleeping through the night!
Like I said above I had a good week, my previous goals were: (I need to constantly remind myself!)
My plan is to continue with what I'm doing. Right now it's working and I need to feel like I've got a hold of what I'm doing and know that I can be successful at right now and not worry about two weeks from now, next month or even further into the future.
Like I said above I had a good week, my previous goals were: (I need to constantly remind myself!)
- to love myself and be happy with even the littlest accomplishments, make time for myself both physically & emotionally.
- be a soda free home
- make it to a Weight Watcher's meeting
- fit a 30 min. workout in 3x a week
- journal my food
My plan is to continue with what I'm doing. Right now it's working and I need to feel like I've got a hold of what I'm doing and know that I can be successful at right now and not worry about two weeks from now, next month or even further into the future.
Tuesday, August 9, 2011
Nature's Bounty
Sunday afternoon I was laying on the couch watching a race with Eric and trying to avoid having to make supper. I didn't plan ahead and the only thing in the house that didn't need to be thawed was tuna helper. I was not excited about having or making tuna helper so I was hoping Eric would get up and make himself a bowl of cereal and I could say "Oh, great idea! Cereal for supper!" He didn't get up and get a bowl of cereal....little did I know we didn't have cereal in the house either!
Anyway, I did eventually get up and I walked out back with the dogs and decided to check on my garden. Calling it a garden this year is a stretch! We had such a cold & wet planting season everything got in late and then it turned hotter than hot and scortched everything! But to my surprise this hot, steamy Sunday afternoon this is what I found!
I picked my lone pepper and the two okra's and beautiful roma tomato's and the green one fell off the vine and I decided to show it some mercy and bring it in with my bounty rather than leave it for the squirels. This little box made me so happy! I nearly skipped into the house to show it off to Eric and Jonner, they were equally excited with my basket of veggies fresh from the garden! I enjoy gardening, but this is what I LOVE about it. Having my own fresh/organic vegetables to feed and nurish my family.
I quickly decided we were having BLT's for supper that evening....the only problem what we were out of the B. I grabbled the keys, gave my guys a kiss and said I'll be back in a jiffy and off I was on my way to Walmart up the street. I didn't even realize until I was trying to walk from the van into the store that I was still wearing my nasty, dirt crusted gardening flip-flops that flipped and flopped off my feet more than they stayed on! But it was a Sunday afternoon and all the crazies were out at Walmart - I fit right in! I grabbed a pound of turkey bacon and a package of deli turkey. Those of you who know me well know I won't eat a tomato to save my life...ironic huh?! And I was home in no time flat and ready to make supper. Eric had his traditional BLT and I had my traditional BLTurkey, Jonner enjoyed toast and bacon. Best of all we ended up having a nice easy sit down meal as a family - that's better than cereal any day....even if I do have to toast some bread and cook up some bacon!
Eric has back to back ballgames tonight and he requested BLT's for a light supper before his games. I'm happy to oblige. It's an easy meal we all enjoy. Just another perk of summer: family, ballgames & BLT's, life is good!
Here are a few pictures of our recent trip into STL to watch the Cardinals play. A big thanks to the March of Dimes for free tickets.
Anyway, I did eventually get up and I walked out back with the dogs and decided to check on my garden. Calling it a garden this year is a stretch! We had such a cold & wet planting season everything got in late and then it turned hotter than hot and scortched everything! But to my surprise this hot, steamy Sunday afternoon this is what I found!
I quickly decided we were having BLT's for supper that evening....the only problem what we were out of the B. I grabbled the keys, gave my guys a kiss and said I'll be back in a jiffy and off I was on my way to Walmart up the street. I didn't even realize until I was trying to walk from the van into the store that I was still wearing my nasty, dirt crusted gardening flip-flops that flipped and flopped off my feet more than they stayed on! But it was a Sunday afternoon and all the crazies were out at Walmart - I fit right in! I grabbed a pound of turkey bacon and a package of deli turkey. Those of you who know me well know I won't eat a tomato to save my life...ironic huh?! And I was home in no time flat and ready to make supper. Eric had his traditional BLT and I had my traditional BLTurkey, Jonner enjoyed toast and bacon. Best of all we ended up having a nice easy sit down meal as a family - that's better than cereal any day....even if I do have to toast some bread and cook up some bacon!
Eric has back to back ballgames tonight and he requested BLT's for a light supper before his games. I'm happy to oblige. It's an easy meal we all enjoy. Just another perk of summer: family, ballgames & BLT's, life is good!
Here are a few pictures of our recent trip into STL to watch the Cardinals play. A big thanks to the March of Dimes for free tickets.
Cardinals vs. Houston Astros - Cards lost, but we still enjoyed ourselves despite the 100 degree tempature at 7:15 in the evening. Thankfully we were so high up in the nose bleed seats that we had a slight breeze as the sun set behind us. Up that high we had a fabulous view of the entire stadium, the field and one of our favorite sights of the midwest. The Gateway Arch at sunset.
Friday, August 5, 2011
At the end of my rope
This week has been a short one for us here at home, but it's been a crazy one. I don't know if it's because of the quick trip up to Iowa and getting out of our routine or just what, but Jonner has been out of sorts. And by out of sorts I mean extremely naughty and mouthy. I've reached the end of my rope and I'm praying we can get back on track this weekend.
I can't complain about his sleeping habits because the last few weeks he's been sleeping like a champ. No potty accidents, staying in his bed and sleeping until 7am. We stopped letting him fall asleep to his tv being on and I think it's made a huge difference and helped him sleep better. But boy oh boy does he give me a run for my money during the day. And then once daddy is home he's back to being a good little boy.
Why does he think it's ok to be mean and hateful towards me but not towards daddy? Let me give you a run down of this weeks naughty behavior. A few days ago he played in the toilet with a washcloth. Toilet water was everywhere, again today playing in the toilet. I've already removed everything from the bathroom I could possible imagine...even the shower curtain is gone. My next resort is just locking him out of the bathroom and making him come tell me when he has to go potty so I can unlock and supervise him. He is constantly telling me "no", hitting, kicking. Today in the library he was climbing on the magnetic thing that beeps at the door and I told him to get off that it wasn't something to climb on. I started to re-direct him to the children's library and he yelled "no, knock it off mommy" and hit & bit me then said "mommy you're stupid". I took him by the hand, we immediately returned the movie we were checking out and walked out the door. He cried the whole way and frankly I didn't really care. Once buckled in the car I asked him if he knew why we left and he just cried and yelled at me that he wanted to go to the library. He proudly told daddy of his bad behavior as soon as we met with him for lunch and daddy made him appoligize and had a talking to him.
I know that when he's mis-behaving I've caught myself telling him to "knock it off" so I know where he get's that from, but calling people stupid has me stumped. I need to figure out some sort of behavior strategy for him. I'm thinking his a monetarily driven kid so it's going to be something with coins. He has no idea what money is, he just likes to collect it in his piggy bank. So I'm going to find a jar and start taking coins away everytime he says a "bad" word. I wish I could figure something out that would reward a good/alternate bahavior but right now I'm so agitated with him that I'm at a loss. *Ideas/suggestions are welcome.*
I know I've made and will continue to make mistakes with him, at the end I just want to be a good mom and raise a confident, caring & respetful child. The funny thing is he know's when he's misbehaving and we have to leave a situation because of his behavior. He will cry "I want to behave" because he doesn't want to miss out on the fun things. I just can't understand why he continues to do what he does when he know's he's in the wrong.
I love the little booger, he's made me laugh, he's made me cry, he's made me proud and today he's leading me to pulling my hair out.
I can't complain about his sleeping habits because the last few weeks he's been sleeping like a champ. No potty accidents, staying in his bed and sleeping until 7am. We stopped letting him fall asleep to his tv being on and I think it's made a huge difference and helped him sleep better. But boy oh boy does he give me a run for my money during the day. And then once daddy is home he's back to being a good little boy.
Why does he think it's ok to be mean and hateful towards me but not towards daddy? Let me give you a run down of this weeks naughty behavior. A few days ago he played in the toilet with a washcloth. Toilet water was everywhere, again today playing in the toilet. I've already removed everything from the bathroom I could possible imagine...even the shower curtain is gone. My next resort is just locking him out of the bathroom and making him come tell me when he has to go potty so I can unlock and supervise him. He is constantly telling me "no", hitting, kicking. Today in the library he was climbing on the magnetic thing that beeps at the door and I told him to get off that it wasn't something to climb on. I started to re-direct him to the children's library and he yelled "no, knock it off mommy" and hit & bit me then said "mommy you're stupid". I took him by the hand, we immediately returned the movie we were checking out and walked out the door. He cried the whole way and frankly I didn't really care. Once buckled in the car I asked him if he knew why we left and he just cried and yelled at me that he wanted to go to the library. He proudly told daddy of his bad behavior as soon as we met with him for lunch and daddy made him appoligize and had a talking to him.
I know that when he's mis-behaving I've caught myself telling him to "knock it off" so I know where he get's that from, but calling people stupid has me stumped. I need to figure out some sort of behavior strategy for him. I'm thinking his a monetarily driven kid so it's going to be something with coins. He has no idea what money is, he just likes to collect it in his piggy bank. So I'm going to find a jar and start taking coins away everytime he says a "bad" word. I wish I could figure something out that would reward a good/alternate bahavior but right now I'm so agitated with him that I'm at a loss. *Ideas/suggestions are welcome.*
I know I've made and will continue to make mistakes with him, at the end I just want to be a good mom and raise a confident, caring & respetful child. The funny thing is he know's when he's misbehaving and we have to leave a situation because of his behavior. He will cry "I want to behave" because he doesn't want to miss out on the fun things. I just can't understand why he continues to do what he does when he know's he's in the wrong.
I love the little booger, he's made me laugh, he's made me cry, he's made me proud and today he's leading me to pulling my hair out.
Wednesday, August 3, 2011
Weigh in Wednesday - Wk 3
Another week has gone by and it's time to weigh in again. I'm beginning to dread Wednesdays, but I know like everything else "this too shall pass" until next week!
My goals for last week didn't seem too lofty when I made them, but I'm wondering if I haven't put too many goals on myself because I'm not able to check each one off. So this week I'm not going to add new goals. I need to accomplish what I've already set out to do before I can continue on.
My previous goals were:
I feel like I'm heading in the right direction, but taking teeny-tiny baby steps. I hope that I can keep up with what I've started this week and it'll reflect on the scale.
My goals for last week didn't seem too lofty when I made them, but I'm wondering if I haven't put too many goals on myself because I'm not able to check each one off. So this week I'm not going to add new goals. I need to accomplish what I've already set out to do before I can continue on.
My previous goals were:
- to love myself and be happy with even the littlest accomplishments, make time for me both physically and emotionally.
- be a soda free home
- make it to a Weight Watcher's meeting
- fit a 30 min. workout in 3x a week
- I made time for me emotionally last weekend with my trip to Iowa. I had a wonderful time with family & friends and felt completely refreshed and ready to start a new week. YAY!
- We continue to be a soda free home. I will admit I did have a couple of soda's over the weekend with meals but I'm not going to get worked up about those 2 drinks. And the cravings have stayed away! YAY!
- I did TRY to go to a WW meeting, but the a/c is broke at the meeting center and due to the extreme heat they've adjusted their hours. So I need to get online and look for a time at an alternate meeting space that will work for me. I did finally weigh myself today and I'm gulp: 11 lbs. heavier today than the last time I weighed in at WW in March. I started tracking my points today and I hope to continue with tracking the food I eat in an effort to be accountable and remember what I'm eating.
- I didn't get a single workout in last week. BOO!
I feel like I'm heading in the right direction, but taking teeny-tiny baby steps. I hope that I can keep up with what I've started this week and it'll reflect on the scale.
Tuesday, August 2, 2011
A Weekend.... all about a girl
When an opportunity presents itself, what do you do? Run with it and see where it takes you or let it pass and wonder what may have been. Usually I let them pass and wonder what may have been. Until last week...
I was missing my mom & sisters and some core women in my life. I realized last week that my husband was going to be in class all weekend and we'd see very little of him and it dawned on me that Jonner and I didn't need to stay cooped up in this Southern Illinois heat while daddy was in class. I decided to run 300 miles with this opportunity and head up to Iowa and be with family.
With the help of my sisters and dad we were able to keep my visit a secret from my mom. She saw my silver van pull into the driveway and assumed it was my sister Bobbi in her silver van. My dad met us at the door and opened it for us just as he would have for my sister and her kids. It took a moment for it to register with my mom who had just walked into her livingroom. That look was priceless! It really felt great to give her such a nice surprise.
Friday evening was full of food and family. I was able to see my older sister and her family and my younger sister Kristi along with her family. I even kept her youngest son (Liam is 4) for a sleepover with Jonner at Grandma & Grandpa's. After all....the weekend wasn't entirely about me! Those two little boys played so well and just had a blast. I hate being so far away, I have great memories of playing with my cousins and I want the same for Jonner. Saturday morning my parents keep the boys, invited Levi (3) up and Kristi and I went coupon shopping. I seldom get to spend time with Kristi and having that one on one time together really meant a lot to me. Saturday evening we spent in Thomson visiting the Smith side of the family. We saw KaCee Cierra and Jonner cried the rest of the evening for her. We really miss that girl.
Sunday was a fun filled day for me. I started the day off up at my grandma L.'s and came home with a ton of jars to can in....if only my garden was producing. But we'll save that story for another day. I had lunch with my sister Bobbi Ann. She treated me to the brunch buffet at Yen Ching. It's been forever since I've been there and honestly it wasn't as good as I remember. But it was still great to see Bertrude and chat with her. That afternoon I saw my "little" brother Bobby. The terrible thing about a long relationship ending is loosing the family you've come to love. When my high school sweetheart and I split I was heartbroke about not seeing his little brother and his grandma. Over the years I've gotten back in touch with his little brother and have adopted him as my own little brother. So the "little" brother I've know since he was 5yrs old is now a grown man that towers just a bit over me. We chat often and I'm so glad to have my little brother back in my life. Sunday evening was the icing on the cake. My best friend was also in town all the way from Alaska. Tricia is my dearest and oldest friendship dating back to college. We were in each other's weddings and when we're together we mesh and no topic is off limits. It was so refreshing to see her and be able to pig out on some Manny's pizza and not be concerned if I ate too much. We visited late into the night and I felt such a peace come over me. I ran with an opportunity and in doing so I was able to fill my need of being with some of the people I miss & love most. My weekend was filled with love and laughter and I realized that for the first time in a long time that I was living in the moment and not trying to capture it on film.
I'll hold these wonderful moments of time in my heart forever. And I'll try to remember it's ok to run with an opportunity every now and again. Afterall you never know what will come of them!
**I can't give my parents enough thanks for all of their help with Jonner over the weekend. He spent more time with them than with me. I know they were happy to help and trilled to have that time with him but by Sunday evening my little man was missing his mommy and to be honest...mommy was missing her little man.
I was missing my mom & sisters and some core women in my life. I realized last week that my husband was going to be in class all weekend and we'd see very little of him and it dawned on me that Jonner and I didn't need to stay cooped up in this Southern Illinois heat while daddy was in class. I decided to run 300 miles with this opportunity and head up to Iowa and be with family.
With the help of my sisters and dad we were able to keep my visit a secret from my mom. She saw my silver van pull into the driveway and assumed it was my sister Bobbi in her silver van. My dad met us at the door and opened it for us just as he would have for my sister and her kids. It took a moment for it to register with my mom who had just walked into her livingroom. That look was priceless! It really felt great to give her such a nice surprise.
Friday evening was full of food and family. I was able to see my older sister and her family and my younger sister Kristi along with her family. I even kept her youngest son (Liam is 4) for a sleepover with Jonner at Grandma & Grandpa's. After all....the weekend wasn't entirely about me! Those two little boys played so well and just had a blast. I hate being so far away, I have great memories of playing with my cousins and I want the same for Jonner. Saturday morning my parents keep the boys, invited Levi (3) up and Kristi and I went coupon shopping. I seldom get to spend time with Kristi and having that one on one time together really meant a lot to me. Saturday evening we spent in Thomson visiting the Smith side of the family. We saw KaCee Cierra and Jonner cried the rest of the evening for her. We really miss that girl.
Sunday was a fun filled day for me. I started the day off up at my grandma L.'s and came home with a ton of jars to can in....if only my garden was producing. But we'll save that story for another day. I had lunch with my sister Bobbi Ann. She treated me to the brunch buffet at Yen Ching. It's been forever since I've been there and honestly it wasn't as good as I remember. But it was still great to see Bertrude and chat with her. That afternoon I saw my "little" brother Bobby. The terrible thing about a long relationship ending is loosing the family you've come to love. When my high school sweetheart and I split I was heartbroke about not seeing his little brother and his grandma. Over the years I've gotten back in touch with his little brother and have adopted him as my own little brother. So the "little" brother I've know since he was 5yrs old is now a grown man that towers just a bit over me. We chat often and I'm so glad to have my little brother back in my life. Sunday evening was the icing on the cake. My best friend was also in town all the way from Alaska. Tricia is my dearest and oldest friendship dating back to college. We were in each other's weddings and when we're together we mesh and no topic is off limits. It was so refreshing to see her and be able to pig out on some Manny's pizza and not be concerned if I ate too much. We visited late into the night and I felt such a peace come over me. I ran with an opportunity and in doing so I was able to fill my need of being with some of the people I miss & love most. My weekend was filled with love and laughter and I realized that for the first time in a long time that I was living in the moment and not trying to capture it on film.
I'll hold these wonderful moments of time in my heart forever. And I'll try to remember it's ok to run with an opportunity every now and again. Afterall you never know what will come of them!
**I can't give my parents enough thanks for all of their help with Jonner over the weekend. He spent more time with them than with me. I know they were happy to help and trilled to have that time with him but by Sunday evening my little man was missing his mommy and to be honest...mommy was missing her little man.
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