No Waste, No Substitutions

New Beginnings bring change for all.  It's been posted, I am no longer a short order breakfast cook working on everyone else's schedule.  I know it'll take some time for the other members of his home to get used to the idea that I am taking back my life.  With this change I might also have to put on my big bad bitch hat.  The grocery situation in this house is out of control and I am having to reel it back in and take stock in every egg, carrot and piece of bread within these walls.  Unfortunately the budget doesn't allow for grazing or eating because you're board. 

This morning ran beautifully for the boy wonder and myself.  Oatmeal was served for all, he and I ate and were out the door with time to spare and no tears from either of us.  It was a perfect dress rehearsal for when he ACTUALLY returns to school tomorrow...Oops!  Oh well, I enjoyed the company as I dropped the dog off at the vet and ran to the grocery store. 

This is what I returned to...Sleeping Grumpy decided to sleep in and already broke my NO WASTE rule! 

Oatmeal not touched and he ate the last banana.  The mess was left on the table for me to clean and now that it's later and he had too much fruit there's another mess for me to deal with.  I'm hating life right now. 

On the plus side both child and man-child have been at peace with no fighting, yelling, cussing and both have stayed in their respective rooms today.

Maybe, just maybe it's a New Beginning miracle!?

2015 New Beginnings!

So I sit here with hundreds of blogs rolling around in my head and kicking myself for not putting a single one down in type.  November 2012....seriously the last one written.  It's a shame because I have so much jumbled up inside of me I know I'd feel better if I just let some of it go.  For me this blog is emotional therapy more than the number of followers I have associated with it.

I'm going to be honest.  I really want to start the new year of new beginnings out venting about our life circumstances.  But I'm going to hold off and I'll share another day.  Today I have positive things to share and with a new beginning brings new ways I NEED to look at things. 

Jman started Tae Kwan Do last week and he had class yesterday.  The weather was turning wintery and it was early on a Saturday morning.  I had other things on my mind and his instructor sat all the students down towards the end of the class and gave them (gave me) a very inspirational talk.  I can only paraphrase but I know you all will get the gist of it.  He said that only we (as individuals) can want better for us, we are the one to work for it and achieve it.  Now this is something I knew and have told others....but never have I heard it and felt it directed towards me.  Only I can want to make the change, I can't do it for others.  I can't expect them to want it for me and to make it happen.  Only me, I am the only one to hold accountable.  Now with this new found inspiration feeding me I accidently found a Facebook page of another military spouse that I know from our last base and former church.  She has lost weight, looks great and as I was scrolling thru her "Hope's Health" page I found this picture.  I decided last night that there will be change in 2015, change beginning with me. 

I'm not a runner but this picture really spoke to me.  Winter has finally hit Northwestern Illinois.  We woke up to 2-3 inches of fresh snowfall, 20 mile an hour winds and a temperature of -3.  My guys went out to plow and I snuggled back into bed this morning.  And the image of this picture immediately flooded my mind.  Today was presenting the perfect day to get started on my new beginning.  No more waiting for perfect conditions.  It's about my mindset:  I'm alive and awake, a perfect condition to get up and get moving.  I am morbidly obese when you put be on any doctor's chart for weight/BMI.  I don't even have a goal to start out with.  I just know that I am miserable.  I need to navigate and figure out a balance of taking care of myself AND caring for my family.  Too often the needs of others are put before my own needs and I get pushed further and further back and collect dust on a forgotten shelf.  I know I can't allow this to happen any longer.  My health and sanity depends upon it. 

 

Today I did something for myself.  I took a wintery walk, 2.42 miles in the snow and cold.  It was wonderful and refreshing! 

 

It's a new beginning.