When I mention to someone we're trying to adopt the first response I get is "where from?" I know they're expecting an exotic, foreign destination in which we'll fly off to and return with our new bundle. When I tell them we're adopting domestically I hear "oh, local". As if a child from our own country will not be as cute, loved, and "exotic" as a child adopted from another country.
I've always had a desire to adopt, Eric from the beginning said no. I remained persistant and every so often I'd mention it in passing and "feel him out". The summer of 2010 there was a situation that a distant family member had a baby and DCFS stepped in and removed the baby from her care before she was even able to leave the hospital with the baby. Eric and I discussed this child and even though we realized we wouldn't be able to get that child it opened up a line of communication between us to really investigate adoption. To my surprise Eric had a change of heart. Initially I looked into foster care, there are so many children in the system that are in need of a good, loving home and it breaks my heart that so many are in need of a forever family. Sadly the Illinois laws turned us away from becoming foster parents. I understand and agree with the philosophy of keeping families together, but how many chances does a parent get? How many times does a child need to be bounced back and forth from parents to foster care. I couldn't allow Jonner to have someone in and out of our home, he wouldn't understand and it'd break my heart.
January of this year I started looking into adoption and doing a little bit of research. I had no idea where to start. One day I wore my Hawkeye shirt to pick J up from school and one of his classmate's mom stated she was from Iowa and her son's birthmother was too. Wearing that shirt was a blessing and gave me a starting point! She hooked me up with an attorney in Iowa and I contacted them and we received their application form in the mail. We filled it out but something just didn't feel right and I didn't send it off right away. A week later a girl from church and I were talking and she mentioned a friend of her's had adopted from Lutheran Child and Family Services right here in the town we live in. Instantly I knew that was the route I wanted to go. Local for me to feel involved and having grown up in a Lutheran church it felt right for me. Eric just went along for the ride and let me make most of the decissions. I contacted LCFS and stopped at their office and picked up an application, made an appointment to meet with one of their workers and get started. Since we'd already filled out an application for the attorney in Iowa it was easy to fill out the LCFS application and get it returned in no time. On March 7, 2011 it was offical, we'd jumped into the adoption process with both feet. Our application and application fee had been submitted with much of our additional background information. In April we had our homestudy walk through of our home and by the end of May we had our approved homestudy in our hot little hands. We were approved to adopt!
It's crazy how an individual can get pregnant, and be able to take their child home with them no questions asked and yet to adopt we indure fingerprinting, background checks, a home walk through, interviewing of friends, letters from family, financial reports...and this is just a peak of what is need to adopt. It's not for the faint of heart and it weeds out those that are not serious about adoption. We made it through the paperwork! Now we continue to wait...
Waiting; this is the hard part. We've sent facebook messages and emails out to everyone we know. And with it being Adoption month we'll send one out again this month and in our Christmas letters in December. You know what they say about the squeeky wheel! Networking is the way to go. Getting the word out. YOU might be our link...YOU know someone who know's someone who know's someone who is expecting and looking into making an adoption plan or just doesn't know what to do about an unplanned pregnancy. YOU can help!
A few weeks ago I was having some adoption anxiety with the wait and the financial draining of funds adoption brings. I mentioned we were looking into fundraising options along with loans and applying for grants. I think we've finally come to a conclusion on what feels right for us. Scouts sell cookies and popcorn to help offset the cost of camps, so what can we sell to offset our adoption costs. These are just a few of the things I've come up with.
Turkey shirts for cute little turkey's to celebrate Thanksgiving in. Above I have the girl version with bright pretty colors and below is the boy handprint version on camo. Right now I'm only making toddler sizes 18m - 5t for $8.00. I'll be starting Christmas shirts soon too!
All sales from my facebook site Tickled Pink Stitching will go towards our adoption fund. I'm excited about being able to combine doing something I love and knowing that I can release some of the financial anxiety I have of wondering where the money will come from to finalize the adoption and make it all legal once we do get our wee one.
