No Waste, No Substitutions

New Beginnings bring change for all.  It's been posted, I am no longer a short order breakfast cook working on everyone else's schedule.  I know it'll take some time for the other members of his home to get used to the idea that I am taking back my life.  With this change I might also have to put on my big bad bitch hat.  The grocery situation in this house is out of control and I am having to reel it back in and take stock in every egg, carrot and piece of bread within these walls.  Unfortunately the budget doesn't allow for grazing or eating because you're board. 

This morning ran beautifully for the boy wonder and myself.  Oatmeal was served for all, he and I ate and were out the door with time to spare and no tears from either of us.  It was a perfect dress rehearsal for when he ACTUALLY returns to school tomorrow...Oops!  Oh well, I enjoyed the company as I dropped the dog off at the vet and ran to the grocery store. 

This is what I returned to...Sleeping Grumpy decided to sleep in and already broke my NO WASTE rule! 

Oatmeal not touched and he ate the last banana.  The mess was left on the table for me to clean and now that it's later and he had too much fruit there's another mess for me to deal with.  I'm hating life right now. 

On the plus side both child and man-child have been at peace with no fighting, yelling, cussing and both have stayed in their respective rooms today.

Maybe, just maybe it's a New Beginning miracle!?

2015 New Beginnings!

So I sit here with hundreds of blogs rolling around in my head and kicking myself for not putting a single one down in type.  November 2012....seriously the last one written.  It's a shame because I have so much jumbled up inside of me I know I'd feel better if I just let some of it go.  For me this blog is emotional therapy more than the number of followers I have associated with it.

I'm going to be honest.  I really want to start the new year of new beginnings out venting about our life circumstances.  But I'm going to hold off and I'll share another day.  Today I have positive things to share and with a new beginning brings new ways I NEED to look at things. 

Jman started Tae Kwan Do last week and he had class yesterday.  The weather was turning wintery and it was early on a Saturday morning.  I had other things on my mind and his instructor sat all the students down towards the end of the class and gave them (gave me) a very inspirational talk.  I can only paraphrase but I know you all will get the gist of it.  He said that only we (as individuals) can want better for us, we are the one to work for it and achieve it.  Now this is something I knew and have told others....but never have I heard it and felt it directed towards me.  Only I can want to make the change, I can't do it for others.  I can't expect them to want it for me and to make it happen.  Only me, I am the only one to hold accountable.  Now with this new found inspiration feeding me I accidently found a Facebook page of another military spouse that I know from our last base and former church.  She has lost weight, looks great and as I was scrolling thru her "Hope's Health" page I found this picture.  I decided last night that there will be change in 2015, change beginning with me. 

I'm not a runner but this picture really spoke to me.  Winter has finally hit Northwestern Illinois.  We woke up to 2-3 inches of fresh snowfall, 20 mile an hour winds and a temperature of -3.  My guys went out to plow and I snuggled back into bed this morning.  And the image of this picture immediately flooded my mind.  Today was presenting the perfect day to get started on my new beginning.  No more waiting for perfect conditions.  It's about my mindset:  I'm alive and awake, a perfect condition to get up and get moving.  I am morbidly obese when you put be on any doctor's chart for weight/BMI.  I don't even have a goal to start out with.  I just know that I am miserable.  I need to navigate and figure out a balance of taking care of myself AND caring for my family.  Too often the needs of others are put before my own needs and I get pushed further and further back and collect dust on a forgotten shelf.  I know I can't allow this to happen any longer.  My health and sanity depends upon it. 

 

Today I did something for myself.  I took a wintery walk, 2.42 miles in the snow and cold.  It was wonderful and refreshing! 

 

It's a new beginning.

30 Days of Gratitude

With Thanksgiving approaching I've decided to make a sort of journal and share the things that I am grateful for.  This is something I hope to continue but 30 days of baby steps will have to suffice.  This is something I'm doing for me to remind myself of the good things I HAVE in my life.  Because lately I feel like nothing but sadness has crept into every nook & cranny of my life.  But in an effort of gratitude I'm going to do my best not to drown myself in the yuck but reach out with hope and promise. 

Day 1:  Wednesday, October 24, 2012
Today I am grateful for the sunshine.  The warm, bright rays have chased away the demons that keep me down on the couch.  Today I can embrace the task at hand and accomplish it. 

Day 2:  Thursday, October 25, 2012
Today I am grateful that I was in and out of MPF on base to get my new id.  It may not be pretty but not having to wait is worth it.  I'm also grateful to have access to military bases and the life I have as a military spouse.  It's not always an easy one, but I'm proud to be apart of the military family. 

Day 3:  Friday, October 26, 2012
Today is a day of gratitude for my 2nd born.  Jonner is such a funny, loving, kind spirited goof-ball of a little boy.  He brings joy and laughter to each of my days.  He is a daily pop quiz delivered straight from God, there are days that I fail and days that I succeed beyond imagine and I learn from each of them.  There isn't a day that he isn't offering hugs and kisses or crawling on my lap to give me loves, he truly is my CuddleSnuggleLove a Bug. 

Day 4:  Saturday, October 27, 2012
I'm thankful today for my AK chosen sisters.  When we moved to Alaska I found a group of women and instantly friendship fell into place.  I experienced the hardships of deployments, homesickness and infertility with these ladies but I also experienced the joys of new additions to families, book club laughter and sleepovers with them.  They helped make our 3yrs in Alaska wonderful and the friendships created continue to thrive even though we're spread across the country.  I love my RHR's!

Day 5:  Sunday, October 28, 2012
After years of searching I'm thankful to have found a church home.  In the fall of 2007 I was a very pregnant mom to be I attended my 1st MOPS meeting at Cornerstone Christian Church.  Through that meeting I started attending church there.  Originally I started attending on my own but slowly Eric started attending with me and now is a constant companion sitting next to me during Praise & Worship Service.  It's a place that I can go and dive into my Bible, ask a question and know that God's word will be explained to me Biblically.  It's a place my son loves to be and at the same time he's learning God's word and memorizing scripture.  I am blessed to have a church family that practices what it preaches.  There are so many ways to share my God given talents with the different ministries and see the blossoming fruit from these efforts. 

Day 6:  Monday, October 29, 2012
Today I am thankful for the means to make my own Peppermint Powder Laundry Detergent.  It's eco friendly and I get the warm fuzzy for being "green" and not having to depend on a big cooperation to make one of my household necessities.  Having a chemical free house is important to me and I'm grateful to know you can have a clean home withouth the "tropical alpine waterfall" chemical cloud. 

Day 7:  Tuesday, October 30, 2012
It might sound silly, but today I am thankful for my sample sized bottle of Arbonne Aromassentials Awaken Body Lotion.  Today is going to be a long day of packing, getting the van ready and driving to Iowa and I know I'm going to need every boost I can get and using this stuff makes me happy, it's chemical free and doesn't dry me out like other lotions!  "With lemon for vitality and coriander for happiness"  I get paid nothing for this endorsement.....this stuff is just that good! 

Day 8:  Wednesday, October 31, 2012
Happy Halloween!  Today I'm thankful to have my friend Lynsi in my life.  I can openly talk to her about my emotions, anxiety and recent depression without worry of "labels" or her thinking anything negative about me.  She listens to me, she cry's with me and she prays with me. 

Day 9:  Thursday, November 1, 2012
Today I give thanks for Manny's Pizza and having a meal with family and friends.  I haven't seen my cousin Dana in 6 years, we both have 5yr old boys and it's just nice to sit down and spend time with someone you hold dear.  And it's funny how people can bring you together.  Dana met with me, my parents, her mom and her cousin from her mom's side.  Her cousin is dating a friend of mine from High School who I haven't seen....since graduation (1992) I'm guessing!  Food + Family + Friends = Fun! 

Day 10:  Friday, November 2, 2012
Today I am thankful for God's love and grace.  My Grandpa Malone and Uncle Mike both accepted Christ as their Lord and Savior today.  I'm so glad I was there to share and witness the confession of faith and that my son was able to see his Great-Grandpa  and Great-Uncle accept Jesus into their hearts.  God IS Good!

Day 11:  Saturday, November 3, 2012
Today I'm thankful for my hair and the splashes of pink in it I'm also thankful for my sister in law Jodi and having the opportunity to spend the morning with her as she chose a wig.  She is a strong example of a woman looking breast cancer straight on and fighting it with grace, dignity and a shining smile. 

Day 12:  Sunday, November 4, 2012
I'm thankful to be home in Iowa and to have been one of the people who lovingly surrounded my grandpa's bedside as he took his last breath.  Rest in Peace Grandpa, I love you.   

Day 13:  Monday, November 5, 2012
Today I'm grateful for my IL chosen sisters.  After moving to Illinois I had a hard time finding a place to "belong".  I was a military spouse, a bereaved parent, woman struggling with infertility and also a mom to be experiencing a high risk pregnancy and I felt very much alone.  It wasn't until I joined MOPS and met a few friends who introduced me to a few others and now they've all become so very important to me.  Ironically the majority of them are non-military.  These ladies are my go-to gals and my in case of emergency contact.  They are also who my son on occasion will refer to as an Aunt and their children are always his cousins.  He draws pictures of himself with his "cousins".  Their families have become apart of our family.  But what I love most about these ladies is that we make a point to get together once a month to sit as women and friends and share a meal and chat into the wee hours of the night.  They were a beaconing light for me when I felt very much alone and I am forever grateful for their love and friendship.  Thank you Tarts! 

Day 14:  Tuesday, November 6, 2012
Today I give thanks to my parents.  They have given me unconditional love and support.  They've been a wonderful example of how to make a marriage work with respect and love.  I know that I can turn to them any time I need and even though they may not like or agree with my choices they never take their love or hold my actions/choices against me.  I know that I was the guinea pig child and a lot of mistakes were made with raising me, I also know that I was a strong willed child and still am to this day but they love and accept me the way that I am.  I thank God for my mom & dad. 

Day 15:  Wednesday, November 7, 2012
I'm thankful today for my sisters Kristi, Bobbi Ann & Kaylee.  We've fought, made each other laugh and cried together.  We've been friends and enemies but through it all when push comes to shove we're there for each other. 

Wowza I'm half done with my 30 days and this journaling is really putting into perspective all the people and things in my life that I have to be greatful for.  I've barely made a dent into my "list".  I think this is something that I'm going to NEED to continue. 

Day 16:  Thursday, November 8, 2012
Today my Grandpa was layed to rest.  His urn was placed in the ground above my Grandma's heart.  I am so very thankful that I had all of my Grandparents alive and well into my 30's.  Jonner has already lost 2 of his Grandparents in the first 4 years of his life.  I remember you lovingly Joyce & Clifford (Cork) Malone and Eugene (Gene) Lutz.  I also remember Beatrice Lambertson (Grandma Lambertson) and Joan Lehne (Grandma Joan) two wonderful women who made an impact in my life.

Day 17:  Friday, November 9, 2012
I'm grateful for the cute little things Jonner says that brings a smile to my face.  I know eventually he'll say things correctly and as time goes by I'll forget but for now I'm thankful he says "We twogot to get groceries".  Twogot = Forgot.  Honestly can anyone say that doesn't make them smile too!?

Day 18:  Saturday, November 10, 2012
This next item I'm grateful for so many reasons.  My Pretty Pink Bible.  I'm thankful to be able to go to it any time day or night and find peace and comfort within it.  I'm thankful that it was a surprise Christmas gift from my husband a few years ago.  It was a well thought out thing for him to give me and shop for.  He didn't know much about religion or Bibles and he did his research asked Christian co-workers and found the perfect one for me.  He may not be the most Godly of men but I know God put him in my life and together we can grow in our faith. 

Day 19:  Sunday, November 11, 2012
Happy Veteran's Day!  I thank the men and women who have gone above and beyond in serving our great nation.  Without your selfless dedication and service to the United States we wouldn't be Home of the Brave, Land of the Free.  I am proud to be an American. 

Day 20:  Monday, November 12, 2012
I'm thankful for Jovie and Rain.  They annoy me, they get in the way, they smell bad but they love us and look out for us and if anything were to happen to either of them I'd be one sad mama.  I can always count on Jovie to sit at the window and give a warning bark if someone new is in the neighborhood, she's especially protective when daddy is away.  My Raindrops has become an old girl.  She's stuck by my side in good and bad times, always so well behaved and mild mannered....so very lucky to have such a good girl. 

Day 21:  Tuesday, November 13, 2012
So grateful that today is a school day for Jonner!  He enjoys school and it's a much needed break for me. 

Day 22:  Wednesday, November 14, 2012
Today I am giving thanks for a few ladies that have come into my life.  Alisha and Elise are both shining examples of God's love.  They've offered friendship, scripture and advice when needed.  They're both creative gals to boot and I miss our sewing nights! 

Day 23:  Thursday, November 15, 2012
I'm thankful that I can give back in a mentoring roll to new, young mom's.  I look forward to whatever roll I can assist with this year at Teen  MOPS. 

Day 24:  Friday, November 16, 2012
I give thanks today for a wonderful Thanksgiving meal shared with friends and other deployed families at Scott AFB. 

Day 25:  Saturday, November 17, 2012
I'm thankful for new friends but also the friends that have weathered the storms with me as well.  Tricia my bestie from college, Sarah my military spouse bestie, and DeAnn my local bestie.  Thanks for being sticking with me thru this hurricane of tears I've had lately. 

Day 26:  Sunday, November 18, 2012
So grateful to have found a sitter so I can have an impromptu girls night out.  "Nutcracker" here I come!

Day 27:  Monday, November 19, 2012
Thankful to have a little bit of a breather today and sit down to sew and do something calming for myself.

Day 28:  Tuesday, November 20, 2012
I'm grateful today to have the ability to move past a hurdle set before me.  I wasn't able to go over it but I've managed to figure away around it and still have things fall somewhat into place.  I'm also thankful that a good cry can clear my mind and allow me a moment to regroup. 

Day 29:  Wednesday, November 21, 2012
I'm thankful for our deployed men and women serving our nation and spending Thanksgiving far from home and away from their families.  Their sacrifice speaks volumes. 

I can't believe my 30 day experiment is coming to an end.  This has been a good avenue for me to express my gratitude and look at the my life in a new light. 

Day 30:  Thursday, November 22, 2012
Today I am thankful for my family and to have this day with them and share a meal together.  Happy Thanksgiving!

A care package for me....the recipient of a random act of kindness

I know many of you are like me and LOVE shopping at Target.  I don't know if any of you avoid it like I do though too.  Everytime I step foot into that store I spend WAY more than I want/need to on random stuff that we just can't live without.  Today I went in with only one thing on my list:  boy socks from the $1 bins.  Of course they only had girly socks, but Jonner found a Captain Hook hand for a buck and I figured "why not."  We wandered into the boy section of clothes because Jman has been growing and I needed to find.....whatever I could find for cheap.  Because the child needs nothing, but c'mon it's Target!  So after a Superman tee on clearance and an outfit on sale I let him look at toys with the knowledge that he has $2 to spend on a toy or save and have more next week.  Again....c'mon it's Target!  Like a 4yr old with a 5yr old complex is going to leave Target without a toy!  After going up and down and down and up the aisles and not finding anything for $2.00 I told him it was time to leave.  I started leaving and as we're getting closer to the checkouts he pipes up "but I want a hot rod" code for MatchBox.  Me wearing the BIG SUCKER stamp across my forhead turns the cart around to get his hot rod.  I think I heard Angels sing when he finally picked his '67 Pontiac GTO.  We could leave before I spent anymore money!  Just as we're coming out of the hot rod aisle I see this cute little red headed girl (the daughter of one of my dearest and closest friends).  I wanted to be the creepy lady that went up and offered her candy!  lol!  But Jonner was so excited to see her and her sisters that he ruined my creepy moment!  Ahhhhh sweet bliss of having a conversation with another adult as we were "those parents" letting our children run around the toys without immediate supervision.  C'mon really, it's only THE Target that a child preditor was waiting inside the restroom for a child to go into alone.  But there were 4 of them and when we didn't see them, we heard the heard of elephants laughing & running.  I know, I know, I don't need a lecture about child safety and it only takes a second.  Anyhoo, as we're standing there and all 4 children are not only within view but within 15 feet two hoity-toity snobs walk by us with a comment about no one watching those kids.  Ugh....bitches, if you want to make a point just make it.  Don't make snide comments in hopes that someone hears you being a snob.  Own it lady, it's not like I know you or will remember you the next time my child is running around Target! 

Not that these ladies made that big of an impact.  The kids were having fun, I had a moment like Rex in Toy Story 3 "He held me, he actually held me!" with having an adult conversation "I'm talking to an adult, I'm actually talking to an adult!"  Little things make big impacts.  Like the lady who heard me talking to Jonner in the toiletries about what we should put in daddy's next care package. 

Jonner was crying because he didn't get to give his best girl a hug goodbye after we went opposite directions at the store and in a distraction I was asking him what he thought daddy would like.  I noticed a lady walk by and stop, look at what I was looking at and kept going.  We picked a few things up, J saw his best girl and gave her a hug and we walked to the checkouts.  While standing in the checkout this same lady came up to me and asked "where is your husband", when I told her he's deployed she handed me a $10 bill.  She said she knew it wasn't much but that she knew "families need to be taken care of too".  How awesome is that!?  A randon act of kindness from a complete stranger, there are no words.  Just my big grateful heart and the knowledge that even though there are some snide people out there, there are also wonderful caring people who will go out of their way to make your day!  Thank you.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

So speaking of care packages.  I decided to send a monthly themed package to Eric.  Now that he's received his first one I'll post the picture.  Its theme was "We're Blue Without You" everything was either blue or packaged in blue.  It was part Father's Day and part just because we miss him.  He didn't get the theme....a bit of a disappointment for me since I really worked at making it the color blue.  *eye's rolling* geesh, men! 

So now that he know's he's getting themed packages I hope he "gets" the ones I send in the coming months!  The softball is for my 2 guys to mail back and forth and play catch with.  They're going to each write/draw a message to the other and mail again.  This ball is going to travel a lot of miles!  The M&M's melted in the extreme desert heat, but surprisingly the Gatorade didn't explode!  Yay!  I'm sure custom's appreciates it more than me or Eric! 

Here Jonner is modeling the t-shirt he made for daddy for Father's Day.  It says World's Best Dad (Jonner's handprints) Hands Down.  J also finger painted his name and finger prints and made a fingerprint drawing of Kye for daddy.  My little love the artist, always remembering his brother!  This was a lot of fun to put together and I'm really looking forward to looking outside the box to make his next care package super special. 

P is for....

The Pulling up of my big girl Panties, Putting the Pity Party behind me....and making Popsicles with my favorite little man. 

As I sit here typing I'm reflecting on what I wrote the other day.  I was at a low and I needed an avenue to vent.  Releasing the frustration that had built up in me felt so good.  That evening I let Jonner sleep in my bed and we both slept really well and started a new day with a smile, laughter, songs & tickles....a perfect way to start the day with a new perspective.  A moment ago I watched him eat his afternoon snack of applesauce.  He licked it out of the bowl and when he finished he ran back out to the patio to play in the bin of soapy water I'd given him.  All of his SuperHero's are going for a swim today and rescuing each other from a soapy storm of bubbles.  He's in his little boy element and I'm looking beyond the mess and clutter to see a little boy having fun making a mess.  Thank goodness his mess is on the patio!  I'm taking the time to forget what will be waiting for me tomorrow and having fun with right now. 

Yesterday Jonner and I made our 1st batch of homemade popsicles.  I have great memories of homemade popsicles when I was a kid and I want to share and create new memories with Jonner. 

We bought our plastic mold, I found some healthy recipe's (if I'm going to make them I want them to be good for us too!) and our adventure began!

Fresh squeezed lime juice, lime zest, banana's and strawberries mixed with Greek yogurt, frozen orange juice concentrate (thawed) and a touch of honey to sweeten the deal!  I blended/puree'd everything until I had a liquid, poured into the molds and froze for a few hours. 

I think I was more excited to have our frozen dessert than Jonner after our dinner last night.  We sat on the patio and enjoyed our tart, frozen pops before heading to church for VBS. 

I say tart, but not quite pucker up tart, the tang of the yogurt and the touch of honey really made for a great popsicle!  I see many more popsicle variations in our future!  And my two favorite things about them:  we made them together and they're healthy!  I even let him have one for breakfast this morning :)  And he didn't even know he was getting a "good for you" treat!

Ah...the life of a busy little boy who know's his mama is distracted.  I hear someone sneaking into the frog habitat! 

At a Loss & a Low

It's been a trying couple of weeks, as I expected it to be.  But I didn't know just WHAT to expect.  Deployments suck, there is just no nice way to go about describing it.  So many emotions from pride and love to seperation anxiety, tears & unexpected behaviors.  We have them all.  And I'm at a loss as to what to do for my sweet little boy.  He's been such a mean, aggressive, naughty little boy since daddy left.  I know where it's coming from, I know why....I just don't know HOW to help him or HOW to fix his hurting.  We talk about daddy all the time, he's been able to talk to daddy on the phone a few times; but what does a 4yr old have to talk about on the phone.  Today we found a way to video chat.  Due to bandwidth issues this was our 1st opportunity to see daddy and have him see us.  It was SO good to see him and hear his voice and Jonner was thrilled to show him his toys and make funny faces and was such a chatter box...until it was time to say goodbye and he burried his head into my chest and cried.  He cried for a good 30 minutes after we turned off the camera's.  I redirected him and we played and cleaned up the toy room and eventually he fell asleep.  I had to wake him up to take him to VBS tonight at our church.  He didn't want to go and I struggled with it.  He wanted me to hold him and carry him and I had to leave him crying and all the way to the car I cried too....and I'm still crying.  I hate that he's hurting so much and afraid that I won't be back for him.  I hate that I had to feed him a yogurt in the car on the way to VBS b/c if it doesn't have a drive thru I haven't "made" dinner since daddy left.  I hate that he's been so mean and tormenting towards the dogs.  I hate that he get's mad & frustrated so quickly that he hits me, sasses me, throw's fits and breaks things.  I know where it's coming from....but I'm at a loss.  I pray and I pray and I pray and it's dark and lonely and I miss my best friend....and these are new emotions for me.  We've been through a lot of deployments before and each has been unique and had it's struggles but this one has had a lot of storms and we're only at the beginning.  Jonner is such a daddy's boy and Eric is a great dad and enjoys & wants to spend time with Jonner and play in the dirt and be rough & tumble boys together.  They are two peas in a pod and I'm the vine.  They stick together while I feed and nourish their relationship.  Jonner is lost without his pod pal and I know Eric is as well and there's a drought and I'm drying up. 

I know my roots are still strong.  I know that I need to rest & refresh for this time Jonner is at VBS so I can get back on track and be the mom & wife I need to be for my two guys.  Sometimes things are so much easier said than done.  I feel guilty for wanting/needing a break.  I feel weak for having gotten sick and letting my house get out of hand so badly that I feel like I'm in a sandpit and getting sucked under.  I feel like a bad mom for not making sure my child has a healthy diet of 3 meals and snacks.  I know that my lack of routine is in part to blame for his acting out. 

Right now I just want to go pickup my child, bring him home, cuddle and fall asleep holding him.  And hope that tomorrow will be a better day for the both of us.   

Lifting my Troubles to the Lord

Today I'm using this blog as a "self help" forum for me.  I am so troubled and I'm releasing it all to God and looking for strength and guidance.....

We've been matched with a birthmom.  Great news I know, I was giddy with excitement when I heard the news.  We've had time to marinade on the thoughts of it and even though I'm excited....there always has to be a but.  And boy do we have a BIG but.  The birthmom is in need of some financial assistance.  It's not much (less than $500 a month) but it exceeds the "extra" amount we have each month.  I just don't know what to do.  We're supposed to meet this mom today.  Do we stop our tithing, do we sell even more of our stuff....but eventually we'd run out of things to sell.  I know I should just trust that God will provide for us, but what if this baby isn't the one that we're supposed to have.  Am I missing the signals, is this a test to just trust.  I don't know and I'm not one to jump blind into something.  But that's what adoption is.  I'm finding peace in this scary time but frankly I was a blubbering ballbaby mess this morning.  And I feel on the verge of more tears. 

It doesn't help that Eric deploys in 3 weeks, that alone is enough stress for this mama. 

Please pray for guidance and peace for us thru this adoption process or having to make the decission that it's not a right fit.  Pray for us as we prepare for deployment. 

Does your home reflect who you are?

This question was asked of us when we were getting ready for a walk thru of our home during the homestudy process of our domestic adoption.  As I pondered this question and looked around our home I realized it represented very little of us as a family. 

From the moment of signing our names on the dotted line March 16, 2007 we became the owners of a work in progress.  We saw beyond the dirt, grime, nasty wall to wall country blue carpet and hideous wallpaper that graced at least one wall of each room.  We owned 1800 square feet of potential.  It's been a LONG almost 5 years now and this house has slowly become our home and in the last several months I've been able to transform our home into something that reflects us as a family. 

Today's Home Highlight feature will be the new mural in our hallway.  I admit I'm addicted to Pinterest, but in my defense I'm not just pinning, I'm doing too!  In my world THAT makes all the difference!  Self Disclaimer:  Notice to the right you can click and follow me on Pinterest or Pin something to one of your boards from my blog....if I did it right!  Anyhoo, back on track!  Here is a picture of my family tree mural.

Due to the placement of the tree in our hallway it's hard to get a good angle to photograph it, but you get the jist of it.  I started out by drawing a tree freehand on the wall and when I stepped back I was pretty pleased with my tree.  The nice thing about tree's is that no two are alike and there's not a straight line on any of them!  I filled in my sketch with paint and decided that it looked a little bare and I then added the curly-que's to give it a little more of a whimsical touch.  We decided this tree will not be a typical "family" tree with limbs/branches representing a single line but of our family as a whole.  It's the people before us who helped root us.  The center picture is of the three of us as a family and wedding pictures of our parents and grandparents surround us.  The frames are some we had and I spray painted them satin black and if a matting was used, I only used white to make the picture pop.  I'm still waiting on pictures of the great-grands to add to our tree.  Once the final photos are added I might add some silvery sage & misty blue leaves as fillers if needed. 

I love our new family tree mural.  It's one of the 1st things someone who enters thru the front door will see as they look across the room.  And as a true representation of who we are as a family there is always at least one picture hanging slightly crooked!  We're a little crazy like that....it has nothing to do with it being a narrow hallway! 

Here's another view coming out of Jonner's bedroom.

The inside of our home is a place I welcome people rather than meet them at the door out of shame because the house is a dump.  The once dump has been transformed into a place that I can proudly say gives us happy memory's to draw back on, brings us joy and laughter daily, warmth and comfort fills this home.  This is where we dwell, this IS our home and this is WHO we are.  Sticky floors and all!

 

Gruzed spelled backwards...

Is desserts.  I have to look at today as a day filled with desserts, just not the edible kind.  I had a great 2 day visit with my parents, I have a loving husband who works hard to support our family and I have my little blue eyed man who makes me laugh, cry and is the sweetest treat in my life.  And today his big blue eyes looked into mine as I was buckling him into his carseat after school and said "Mommy you forgot my dezurg in my lunch box".  I guess in his new classroom all the cool kids have a dezurg of chocolate in their lunch boxes and lil' man just wants to fit in!  Lucky for him I was able to hook him up with a Dove Chocolate heart I had hidden away to make Peanut Butter Loves (Kisses/Blossoms) cookies. 

Jonner is adjusting to his new classroom wonderfully.  He's made several new friends and he and another little boy have been inseperatable since Jonner's 1st day.  Some of his bad behaviors have stuck with him, but it's still early and I'm hopeful that with him being away from the children in his old class he'll be back to himself. 

Yesterday Eric gave me some *adoption* news that hurt my feelings and to be honest made me a little bit angry.  There is a girl that works in his building and it was brought to our attention several months ago that she was pregnant and wanted to let us adopt her child.  She approached someone with concerns of working and seeing Eric and feeling uncomfortable.  I understood the concerns and left it at that.  At Christmas we found out that she was moving into base houseing and we assumed she had decided to keep her baby.  She herself told me when she was due, and spoke generally about the pregnancy.  I guess my assumption was wrong.  Eric offered to give her our bassenett and she told him she was placing the baby for adoption but would ask if "they" wanted it.  When he told me I felt like it was a slap in the face.  Honestly my feelings initially were anger;  "if we're not good enough to parent your baby maybe our bassenett isn't good enough either", then the hurt set in.  The anger is now gone but I'd be lying if I said I wasn't hurt.  I wasn't happy when I thought she was going to parent her child, but I wished her well.  A lot of single parents raise children and do it well.  I knew it would be difficult for her but I'm sure she could have done it.  Now I'm just sad.  Sad that our wait continues.  I'm sure that the family she's chosen wants this baby as much as we do. 

Meanwhile I've asked Eric to approach her and ask if she'd reconsider placing her child with us and explaining to her that he'll be deploying and when he returns moving to a new office.  I know placing her child is not a small, easy decission and I would love to have her reconsider us now that she won't be seeing Eric on a day to day basis.  All we can do is ask. 

One of my girlfriends once told me "one of the greatest gifts you can give your child is a sibling". I pray that sometime soon we can give Jonner and a new little someone the wonderful gift of each other. 

Playing Catch Up

As I was sitting on the bar stool this morning looking out the big patio door a beautiful male cardinal stopped by to greet me.  I just love watching my birds and having the simple reminder of the wonder around me.  It's been a long time since I've taken the time to sit down and write.  I've missed it, and believe me I have a million blogs tucked away in my little bird loving brain.  So I've decided today is the day to get started again. 

I'm going to play catch up and rewind several weeks.  I do this because once the holidays hit so did the crazy hustle and bustle of everyday life. 

Thanksgiving 2011 was fabulous!  We hosted our 1st family feast and had Eric's dad, one of his sister's along with her hubby, my parents and my grandma Lutz.  I cannot put into words how special that day was to have so many loved ones sitting in our home at our dining room table breaking bread and gorging ourselves with turkey, ham and too many fixings to name! 

Eric has become a deep-fry turkey pro.  Crispy golden on the outside and tender, juicy deliciousness on the inside. 

The hungry family!

Two thumbs up for Uncle Jim!  Jonner and Uncle Jim found all the best mud holes to play in and Uncle Jim had to give Jonner a bath before they could come sit down at the table.  Uncle Jim is a little kid in a big kid body, and Jonner adores him! 

After Thanksgiving I was busy sewing and trying to make as many handmade items as possible to give as Christmas gifts.

I started making Christmas shirts this year and here is a special order for a whole family of reindeer.  The daddy & son are sporting a tie and bow tie while mommy & daughter have a ribbon in their antler.  These were fun to make and a big hit with so many. 

I originally saw this on Pinterest.  It's simply a "dry erase" board using the glass from a frame.  We have this little wall between the end of the cabinet and hallway and I purchased our wrought iron S a long time ago for this space and it still didn't look finished.   So once I saw the tutorial for the dry erase board I knew exactly what was going in that ackward little space.  I found a 10x10 square frame and I swap out the scrapbook paper behind the glass to go along with the season/holiday.  Super easy, super fun and it makes my life so much easier to just wipe away my to-do tasks everyday. 

Another Pinterest find!  My girlfriend in S.C. made one of these wreaths for her front door and I loved it so much I decided to give it a go myself.  It was so easy and I even enlisted the "help" from my 2 guys....Family Craft Fun!!!  It's a wire coat hanger stretched out into the shape of a circle with ornament balls (I used plastic).  I took the tops off of each ball and hot glued it on so it wouldn't come apart in a heavy wind and just put the balls on the hanger.  The top one I tried to make a pattern and it just didn't work.  While it turned out beautiful it wasn't what I had invisioned when I started.  I enjoyed making the 1st so much that I decided to make a 2nd.  When making the 2nd I decided to use a single color in different textures & shine.  It was simply stunning and hard to give as a gift!  Plus I personally think the silver can stay up through January since it's not really Christmasy.  These wreaths were very satisfying to make.  Simple, Quick, Inexpensive and Beautiful.  I've already stocked up on supplies to make more for 2012 Christmas gifts! 

These were a special order from Santa himself.  He visited a family on Christmas night and brought each of the (grand)kid's a book in a reusable fabric gift bag.  He's asked the the bags stay at the grandparent's house and each year he'll put a gift in them for the kiddo's.  Even the big guy himself is trying to be green! 

After the crafts came Christmas!  We travelled to Iowa/Northern Illinois for Christmas this year.  It was a fun, family filled time.  Unfortunately we forgot our camera and even though my sister in law let us borrow hers we didn't think about how to transfer the pictures from her camera to our laptop....and none of us thought about the USB cable thingy!  Youda thunk we was blonde or sumthin!  Even without the pictures we had a wonderful "Four Christmases".  One of the highlights was having Christmas Day Dinner at Eric's grandma's.  Grandma, all 4 of her children, the majority of grands & great-grands were in attendance.  It was crazy, loud, crowded and an experience we'll never forget and look forward to going to again. 

Finishing up 2011 I had a big surprise for Eric who turned 40 on January 2nd.  With the help of his cousin Lola we planned a surprise 40th Birthday Party for him on New Year's Eve.  It took some planning, and a lot of love from those far away who drove nearly 300 miles to celebrate Eric's birthday. 

Eric's grandma was just one of the people who made the trip to celebrate Eric's birthday.  She made his cakes when he was a kid and it was only fitting to ask her to make this one as well.  Eric was surprised and thrilled to have so many here for the New Year's weekend.  He said for days afterward what a good surprise and perfect weekend it was sitting around playing games, chatting & nibbling on food all weekend with everyone.  I am so thankful that so many were able to come down and celebrate my honey.  He deserves to be showered with love (and gag gifts) from time to time! 

I guess this concludes 2011 (a little late).  2012 has started out with illness for both myself and Jonner.  He has an ear infection and I'm fighting a double ear infection and sinusitis.  With antibiotics we're on the mend.  I've decided to start the year out sick to get it out of our system now.  Here's to a Happy & Healthy New Year! 

I can't contain myself!

I'm so excited.....Eric's surprise 40th birthday party is coming together nicely!  We're expecting 10 family members coming down to ring in the new year and celebrate E's birthday!  I can't wait to see his face, I don't think he has a clue!!!! 

Thankfully Eric doesn't follow my blog and I can shout it out from here, it's been a hard 6wks keeping my mouth shut!

"F" is for Fun, Fall, Friday, FOOTBALL

I started writing this blog nearly a month ago 11.11.11 and for some reason I was pulled from the computer and my words were forgotten about until I happened about them tonight.  But since I started it why not finish.  Right?

Today was an "F" day.  Full of fun;  we were lucky enough to spend this beautiful fall Friday with the St. Louis Rams football team during one of their practices. 

The Rams invited veterans out to watch one of their practices and to thank the vets for their service.  I cannot put into words how excited I was when Eric told me we were one of the selected families.  Eric had to wear his BDU's but I made sure Jonner and I were clothed in our Rams gear and Eric went out to purchase items for the players to sign during the meet and greet. 

It was so much fun to shake hands and chat with the players.  They're just normal people like you and me.  They get worn out from a hard workout, they get hungry, they laugh and tell jokes....ordinary people - who make a ton of money! 

I think the biggest highlight was for Jonner (on a few occassions).  He played football with Rampage the mascott and had several pictures taken with him.  And after the practice Brandon Lloyd made a bee-line for Jonner and gave him his practice glove.  He made the day of one little boy! 

Here are a few pictures of our day.

Warm Up

#55 shaking hands

My two favorite guys

Jman with Rampage

Playing football with Rampage...notice the ball bouncing off of his head!

Playing ball with Rampage

Is this not the cutest little boy EVER!

As Jonner said "meeting a real hero" WWII Vet

Scrimage

Daddy playing ball with his boy

High 5's!

#8 Quarterback Sam Bradford signing J's helmet

Today:  I now realize why I never finished this blog.  I hadn't uploaded my pictures, but my thoughts were all over the place.  And now that it's weeks later I don't know what direction my thoughts were going in...and I don't know how to fix it now.  So I appologize for the beebopping around.  It was a great day and gave us so many wonderful memories.  Jonner still talks about Brandon Lloyd giving him his glove and he loves to show off his signed football & helmet.  We've put them away to keep nice and hope to have properly (safely) display his treasures in his room.  I've gone from the woman who doesn't like/watch football to a Rams fan! 

Little man with his treasures.  Now THAT is a real smile!

Future NFLer

November is National Adoption Month

When I mention to someone we're trying to adopt the first response I get is "where from?"  I know they're expecting an exotic, foreign destination in which we'll fly off to and return with our new bundle.  When I tell them we're adopting domestically I hear "oh, local".  As if a child from our own country will not be as cute, loved, and "exotic" as a child adopted from another country. 

I've always had a desire to adopt, Eric from the beginning said no.  I remained persistant and every so often I'd mention it in passing and "feel him out".  The summer of 2010 there was a situation that a distant family member had a baby and DCFS stepped in and removed the baby from her care before she was even able to leave the hospital with the baby.  Eric and I discussed this child and even though we realized we wouldn't be able to get that child it opened up a line of communication between us to really investigate adoption.  To my surprise Eric had a change of heart.  Initially I looked into foster care, there are so many children in the system that are in need of a good, loving home and it breaks my heart that so many are in need of a forever family.  Sadly the Illinois laws turned us away from becoming foster parents.  I understand and agree with the philosophy of keeping families together, but how many chances does a parent get?  How many times does a child need to be bounced back and forth from parents to foster care.  I couldn't allow Jonner to have someone in and out of our home, he wouldn't understand and it'd break my heart. 

January of this year I started looking into adoption and doing a little bit of research.  I had no idea where to start.  One day I wore my Hawkeye shirt to pick J up from school and one of his classmate's mom stated she was from Iowa and her son's birthmother was too.  Wearing that shirt was a blessing and gave me a starting point!  She hooked me up with an attorney in Iowa and I contacted them and we received their application form in the mail.  We filled it out but something just didn't feel right and I didn't send it off right away.  A week later a girl from church and I were talking and she mentioned a friend of her's had adopted from Lutheran Child and Family Services right here in the town we live in.  Instantly I knew that was the route I wanted to go.  Local for me to feel involved and having grown up in a Lutheran church it felt right for me.  Eric just went along for the ride and let me make most of the decissions.  I contacted LCFS and stopped at their office and picked up an application, made an appointment to meet with one of their workers and get started.  Since we'd already filled out an application for the attorney in Iowa it was easy to fill out the LCFS application and get it returned in no time.  On March 7, 2011 it was offical, we'd jumped into the adoption process with both feet.  Our application and application fee had been submitted with much of our additional background information.  In April we had our homestudy walk through of our home and by the end of May we had our approved homestudy in our hot little hands.  We were approved to adopt!

It's crazy how an individual can get pregnant, and be able to take their child home with them no questions asked and yet to adopt we indure fingerprinting, background checks, a home walk through, interviewing of friends, letters from family, financial reports...and this is just a peak of what is need to adopt.  It's not for the faint of heart and it weeds out those that are not serious about adoption.  We made it through the paperwork!  Now we continue to wait...

Waiting; this is the hard part.  We've sent facebook messages and emails out to everyone we know.  And with it being Adoption month we'll send one out again this month and in our Christmas letters in December.  You know what they say about the squeeky wheel!  Networking is the way to go.  Getting the word out.  YOU might be our link...YOU know someone who know's someone who know's someone who is expecting and looking into making an adoption plan or just doesn't know what to do about an unplanned pregnancy.  YOU can help!

A few weeks ago I was having some adoption anxiety with the wait and the financial draining of funds adoption brings.  I mentioned we were looking into fundraising options along with loans and applying for grants.  I think we've finally come to a conclusion on what feels right for us.  Scouts sell cookies and popcorn to help offset the cost of camps, so what can we sell to offset our adoption costs.  These are just a few of the things I've come up with.

Turkey shirts for cute little turkey's to celebrate Thanksgiving in.  Above I have the girl version with bright pretty colors and below is the boy handprint version on camo.  Right now I'm only making toddler sizes 18m - 5t for $8.00.  I'll be starting Christmas shirts soon too!   

All sales from my facebook site Tickled Pink Stitching will go towards our adoption fund.  I'm excited about being able to combine doing something I love and knowing that I can release some of the financial anxiety I have of wondering where the money will come from to finalize the adoption and make it all legal once we do get our wee one. 

Row, Row, Row Your Boat...

Today was going to be a busy one for me.  Run to the commissary, play catch up on the laundry, recreate a few things I've seen on Pinterest, put away Halloween and get out the turkeys & pilgrims.  Instead I was lucky enough to get up close and personal with the grout lines in my bathroom.  Showering this morning I noticed the water was draining slowly so I finished up so I could start my busy day.  I was greated by 1/2 an inch of standing water on my bathroom floor and the tub in Jonner's bathroom had backed up and had standing water in it.  The plumber has spent the morning cleaning the main line out and digging out roots but he believes there is either an impassable knot of roots or a break in the line.  WooHoo I was wondering how long we'd have a nice "cushion" in our savings account.  10 days, and we're wipped clean without a safety net.  Just when we start to get ahead we're knocked back down. 

Right now we're waiting for all utilities to come mark for any underground lines before the digging begins.  I wrote a check for 1/2 of what it'll cost to complete the repairs outside.  An insurance adjuster will be coming today to see how much damage was done to our bathroom from all of the water.  I've used every last towel (clean and dirty) to soak up the water.  Hopefully by this time tomorrow we'll be back to business as usual. 

Meanwhile I hope we can figure out the toilet situation, laundry, dishes....my sanity.  On a positive note, once it's all said, done, paid for we will have a 20yr warranty in our hot little hands!

Cup half full.....    of grimey, poop water.   

"A" is for Adoption Anxiety

I've had a lot rolling around in my head today.  Adoption anxiety & restlessness.  Patience has never been one of my strong points. 

Last week I had a weird dream.  Jonner and I were sitting in a hospital waiting room with two other families waiting for the social worker to come talk to us.  When she came in she said "a child is available for adoption, I just need to look at your files to find out which family is a compatable match".  One family stood up and said they were only interested in a newborn, the other family stood and said they wanted a child 2 or younger.  I stood and said we're willing to adopt a child 3 or younger as long as the child is younger than Jonner.  The social worker announced with a big smile "you're the new family of a 3yr old girl"!  Jonner and I were overjoyed and the other two families left the room.  I quickly texted Eric (who was a work) "it's a girl and she's 3yrs old".  We were escorted into a private room where I met my new daughter, she had dark hair and eyes and was named Sonja.  I held her and Jonner tried to play with her and she was shy and unsure of both of us.  I was just looking at her and noticed she had an ouchie on her wrist and someone had put duct tape on her ouchie instead of a bandaid.  It was then a nurse came in and whisked her away and informed me Sonja had an infection. 

Then I woke up.  I had to experience my new child already being taken away and even though there hadn't been a "formal" bonding time, she was mine and I wasn't ready to let anyone take her from me...from us.  Her family.   

The anxiety I experience comes with the wait and not knowing a timeline of when we'll get a referral.  I worry about the cost and being able to afford adoption.  I plan on applying for grants but they're few and far between and I can't bank on receiving a grant.  Do we borrow, fundraise, get a loan?  Unfortunately Eric and I are not on the same page when it comes to how we'll pay.  I'm naturally a planner and would rather know where the money is "in the event of" and not be pressed when we have a huge bill and are trying to finalize the adoption 6 months after placement.  Not to mention the cost of diapers & formula.  I know families get by all the time and I know we too will figure it out.  

Today was my first big day of anxiety...not too bad for once in the first 6 months.  Going into this journey I knew it wasn't going to be a quick one.  I trust that the Lord has hand picked our child and I pray for this child and his/her birthfamily. 

We continue to network with family and friends in hopes that one of you out there will know someone who know's someone who is wanting to make an adoption plan for her unborn child. 

Please continue to pray for our family during this adoption process. 

Fall Fun

On a typical weekend we all curl up on the couch and eventually we all fall asleep and when we wake up we tease each other about falling asleep during our family movie/cuddle time.  Today I'm letting my guys curl up with some Scooby-Doo and I'm playing catch up.  My two favorite guys are holding to tradition and snoozing away! 

My poor little guy is sporting a rash on his face & neck.  I took him to the Dr. yesterday and I was told that a child with frequent respitory issues it's common to have a "hystamine" attack and have irratation from things they come in contact with.  The only thing out of our norm is we went to the pumpkin patch and he was lovin' on and feeding the cows. 

It's a little on the itchy side, but for the most part it's not giving him to much grief and he's leaving it alone.  Hopefully another day or two of Zyrtec & 1% Cortizone will clear him up.  Thankfully he's not contagious!  And while we were at the Dr. I went ahead and started getting him caught up on some of his vaccines while we were there AND healthy.  Poor guy got 3 shots in the thigh and we go back next month for his 4yr old well check up and he'll get 3 more. 

The temps really dropped this week and I broke down and turned the heat on for a few days.  I love the cooler temps fall brings but I'm not a big fan of the damp, drizzle that we had for a few days this week.  Monday Jonner and I joined our MOPS group for a trip to the pumpkin patch.  As always we had a great time seeing the animals, playing with friends in the farm play center and riding the tractor to pick out the perfect pumpkin.  After trompsing through the pumpkin patch and passing on several pumkins, Jonner found a winner to bring home!

The best part of going to the pumpkin patch is being with friends.  Jonner and his best girl Ellie have been the best of friends (it's a love/hate, brother/sister relationship) since they were little bitty's.  And Jonas on the right is a new friend Jonner met at the pumpkin patch and they became fast friends. 

These two are the best of the patch!

Jonner and I made another fun craft this week.  We raided the plastic recycle bin and found two milk jugs that we could transform into spooky ghosts.  We started out putting a layer of glow in the dark paint over the jug and then added our facial features with black paint.  We should have put several coats of glow in the dark on the jug because one just didn't do much!  But we had fun and our ghosts turned out fabulous!

These were made to put a light in to illuminate from the inside, but Jonner and one of his little playmates made a game of Boo Chase out of them.  They each held a jug by it's handle and chased each other around the yard yelling "boooooo" and going up on the neighbors "haunted" porch.  I love seeing how little imaginative minds work and I'm so happy they were able to make something recycled into something fun! 

This morning was a Mommy Morning.  Every year my good friend and I make a point to get out on a weekend, kid-free.  We've been to the Belleville Historical Christmas Tour and we oh'd and ah'd over the wonderful Christmas decor the beautiful, historical homes of Belleville area.  The last couple of years we've gone to the local Craft Fair at the Fairgrounds.  Last year the building was packed with vendors and so many crafts to choose from and inspire to recreate.  This cute owl was my big find last year.  I just love him and can keep him up the entire fall season. 

This year was a little bit of a disappointment.  There were not near as many vendors as last year, but we still had a good time and saw and bought some cute crafts. 

HoHoHo my Santa Snowman will be a great addition to my Christmas Kitchen.

Sara & Saul Pilgrim are a cute little couple that I scored an awesome deal on for the pair (they were mis-marked) and since I have very little Thanksgiving decor I thought it'd be fun to get something.  Especially since I'm hosting Thanksgiving this year!

These days out are few and far between and very much enjoyed by both of us.  Thanks to some hubby's that help with schedules to make it happen.  I couldn't ask for more! 

Adoption Update

This morning was our 6 month home walk through with our social worker from Luthern Child & Family Services.  It was a simple 15 minute "inspection" to make sure our license was hung/displayed according to state regulations, all medicines & chemicals locked away, the gun in the safe, fire extinguisher & smoke detectors.  Basic's that are pretty much our norm anyway.  I did go through the house yesterday to make sure the smoke/carbon monoxide detectors worked and wouldn't you know it this morning I hear chirping.  After changing batteries in the one from the laundry room I still could hear chirping.  I found the guilty party in a drawer in the laundry room.  Evidently we had an extra and it was tucked away and forgotten about! 

Our worker informed me that our book has only been viewed once.  I'm happy that it went out, and a little sad that we weren't chosen.  I asked if the birthmom said why we weren't chosen and I guess she's having a bi-racial baby and choose a bi-racial family.  I can understand and respect that decission and I like that it wasn't anything stupid like us not living in a big two story house. 

We're still plugging away with our own networking and I've started a letter to enclose in our Christmas cards.  We officially started the adoption process with paperwork in March...7 months... we're ready for a baby! 

Jonner talks about having a baby sister all the time.  It doesn't help that both of my sisters have little girls and his cousin's that are his age have what he wants....a baby sister.  He's willing to take Abbi-Gail (Liam's sister) or Sienna (Levi's sister) and doesn't understand why he can't have them.  Me telling him that they're already someone elses baby sister doesn't seem to hold much weight with him.  As excited as he'd be to have a baby sister I know he'd be equally excited for a baby brother.  He loves the babies! 

I guess if you're reading this and know of someone looking into making an adoption plan for their unborn child, please remember us and refer the birthparent to us and/or contact us for contact info for our social worker and/or adoption attorney. 

Life in the fast lane

I say life in the fast lane as if we're going somewhere, but in actuallity we're still here just going a million miles an hour.  Life is finally getting back to normal after the many trips we made up north and this is going to be our first weekend here at home (without company) since July! 

Here's a recap of our fun the last few weeks here at home.  The 1st weekend of October Grandpa Smith came to visit.  He was here on his birthday week so we decided to celebrate it up for him.  Eric and Jonner took him golfing, we had a big steak dinner and I made him an angel food cake with fluffy frosting - just like Jeanette used to make!  Here's Jonner licking the frosting from the beater!

He thought it was pretty good!  Licking the beaters was always my favorite part of my mom's baking! 

My parents always come to visit the 2nd weekend of October for the annual Share Walk.  It's a walk to remember all babies gone to soon.  It's a nice time to remember and honor Kye and all of his angel friends during a ceremony with speakers, song, each baby's name is read aloud, balloon release and a memorial walk.  The walk is lead by a banner that all the families sign a message on. 

This las one is my favorite.  Jonner saw everyone writing on the banner so he picked up an ink pen and said he was going to write a letter to his brever (aka brother) Kye.  Look closely and Jonner wrote his name all by himself!  Yay Jonner!  All caps and backwards and when he ran out of room he put his upside down/backwards R under the rest of his name.  I'm glad I have a picture of it and that he was able to share this new "mastery" with his brever! 

Our balloons sent with love to heaven!

                        
Last week I started a Monday craft shared on Tuesday.  Well this week was a wee bit Cra-ZEE, but we did complete several crafts and just stuff in general.  All of it kept me away from the computer!  Our Monday craft as promised.

Felt Jack-O-Lanterns:  I cut a "pumpkin" from a sheet of orange felt and a bunch of facial shapes from black felt.  When 2 pieces of felt are pressed together they naturally bond and hold onto one another.  So we were able to make several different jack-o-lantern faces during our craft playtime.  Ton's of fun and Jonner's made several funny faces and really enjoys playing with the felt.  I'm thinking this will be a fun activity to make seasonally.  I see snowmen with different hats, scarves, mittens, Easter Bunnies with baskents, eggs, flowers and just fun things like cupcakes, cookies, felt dolls to "dress" for the weather....so many possibilities! 

Jonner Jack-o-Lantern

Mommy Jack-o-Lantern with the "lipstick" and eyelashes!

Daddy Jack-o-Lantern with eyebrows and a moo-stach under the nose! 

You can see Jovie is really impressed with Jonner's creations.  In reality she's probably just happy to be able to sit and rest without Jonner chasing her or tattling on her "Mommy, Jovie is in the same room as me" what will I do when we have another one!  The tattling has already started and it's with a dog! 

I finally completed Jonner's Halloween costume and have begun working on Eric's and mine.  We're going to be a family of Pirates and will host a Halloween party for a few of Jonner's friends here on Smith Island - Arrrr! 

Jonner and I also completed his thank you notes to send everyone who loved on him for his birthday.  I cheated this year and bought some Halloween stickers and pre-made witch hat cards on clearance last winter.  It worked out fabulously.  He get's to help with stickers, and we're done in an afternoon.  But since he can write his name now I'm having him sign each card....it's going to take forever! 

Lastly, I've recently started stalking my friend Erica's photos.  She "introduced" me to Bento lunches.  When school started she posted some uber cute pictures of lunches she created for her boys.  I've always tried to make a fun lunch for Jonner using cookie cutters to cut his sandwich but little did I know the extent of what can be done to fun up a lunch.  Bento is basically a Japanese term for cute, fun and HEALTHY lunches.  I'm addicted and FAR from making anything remotely close to the art of what I've seen some mom's make for their kiddo's.  But I have improved and have a few pictures of two of his lunches this week.  

The picture is horrible - after the fact I now realize I had the camera on the wrong setting.  This one went to school with him and was a big hit.  One of the little boys in Jonner's class didn't get two hand stamps at the end of the day because he kept trying to take Jonner's lunch away from him!  Anyway it's a ghost in a cheesy pumpkin patch (cheese sandwich on wheat) with witch fingers (carrot sticks) in a silicone spider cup and goblin guts & eyes (mini oreo's & yogurt raisins) in a silicone pumpkin cup with a juice box and an apple. 

This was a lunch I made for him here at home on his Boo plate.  A jack-o-lantern sandwich (nutella on wheat), witch fingers (carrot sticks) in a spider cup, sliced banana, pumpkin marshmallow's & bat gummies with a Frankenstein pick in a pumpkin cup.  I'm finding that anythink with a pick tastes better and I can limit a few yummies with more fruit/veggies if it's on a pick!  Jonner has always been a good carrot & apple eater.  Giving him a banana or grape was unheard of, but now he asks for them if he can pick a pick to eat them with. 

Dork alert!

Lastly, my big accomplishment this week.  I baked my 1st potato(es).  I know what you're thinking....she's never baked a potato before....the answer is "no".  Until now, and I have to share.  I knocked it out of the ballpark.  Not only did I bake the taters I made them into twice baked taters and froze them.  Slowly but surely my freezer is getting re-stocked for the winter with easy, pre-made meals.  We had our twice baked tater's with oven baked bbq ribs the other night and they were delish. 

Again...camera on the wrong setting.  I think it's time to just hand this camera over to Jman and get myself a new one! 

So that's just a peek of our week in a nutshell. 

Vroom, Vroom!